Dad Joke Corner

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I told them I couldn't quit cold turkey. Happy Thanksgiving all!

A snake walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "How'd you do that?!"

Two fish are in a tank. One fish says to the other, "you man the guns and I'll drive." http://brightcove.vo.llnwd.net/e1/pd/77374810001/77374810001_2929844796001_video-still-for-video-2929766786001.jpg?pubId=77374810001

Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind. It's too cheesy.

Have you meta joke before? No? Good because it won't stop referencing itself! Speaking of meta references, I knew a cook named Dane that dreamed of being a comedian. His comedy career came to an end because he wouldn't stop hamming it up on stage! It wouldn't have been so bad if the previous performance by Jeff had not already Dunham. Even after being pelted by rotten eggs from the audience, Dane refused to quit working it like he was employee of the month. Finally another man named Jim, who had been security at the club for years, had to forcibly Carrey poor Dane the cook back to the kitchen to whip up some better yolks. To this day it remains a mystery to men why he has never left that kitchen. Yet many are still waiting...

What do you call a sketchy Italian neighborhood? The Spaghetto.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get soap in your mouth.... Then it becomes a soap opera!