Struggles you had/have trouble overcoming...

I think the biggest struggle I've had as far as relationships go is when the person you are dating constantly lies, but they don't lie about anything relevant. And what i mean by that is they just lie about the smallest of things that they had no reason to lie about because even if they had told the truth it wouldn't have changed anything. I am just the type of person who dislikes being lied to about anything, definitely when they choose to lie about something that was unimportant to begin with. Was with a girl for close to 3 years and she did this constantly, never cheated, never did anything that bad, but by the end of that relationship I couldn't tell the difference between the lies or the truth. So even though i still loved her and still do, i had to let her go. Compulsive lying is just a terrible thing to pick up and apparently hard to get out of if the other person believes their own lies.

There’s a girl I’ve had a crush on for over 2 years. I’ve talked to her almost every day and she used to make me feel so alive inside. Now I’m just starting to get really depressed because of all the drama she and I have had. I’ve admitted that I love her but she’s said she prefers to be single. I’ve said I respect her wishes and will just remain friends even I so I keep wondering if she will change her mind. Honestly I really need to move on though but It’s becoming really difficult because honestly I’ve never really had any friends quite like her and I always seem to lose it at the thought of even losing her as a friend. I’ve even done things to help her with her life despite how she’s mistreated me in the past, such as talking poorly behind my back and insulting me. Other times she has been a very kind and supportive friend though. I don’t know what to do honestly. I’m 28 now and I’m not getting any younger and that alone depresses the hell out of me. I wish I could get those 2 years of my life back because despite all the good memories I’ve had with her she’s caused me a lot of trauma as well. I dedicated so much of my time with her. She and I would do stuff like play VRCHAT and just overall have a lot fun. I’ve cared about her and would support her the best I can because I know she’s had a rough life. We’d even go on streaming sites and watch a ton of anime together and chat about a lot of things. Even so I really wish I could just move on though. I’ve really wanted to become real life friends with her even because we know eachother so well but she doesn’t even want to do that and I’m starting to just feel like I’ve wasted my time. Anyways that’s my struggle I guess. My struggle is moving on. I wish I could say more because there’s a lot more to this but It’s quite personal. Sorry if this was a bit dramatic.

Tbh, ever since the last girl I dated, which I had broken up with about 6 months ago, I can’t help but think I was in the wrong about things, my main drive for wanting to break up with her is because I couldn’t take the amount of depression she was giving me from her own depression, every time I would try to make her feel better, nothing ever worked, she would go on to talk about how much school was terrible and how her parents treat her unfairly when compared to her brother, but the main thing that killed me inside was how often she threatened suicide. My main thoughts from this is that I betrayed her in some way by breaking up with her, but at the same time I never felt happy with her, because she kept taking it away, sucking all of my happiness when I tried so hard to convince her not to kill herself or to tell her that it won’t be this bad forever; idk what do you guys think?

My struggle is learning to be more self confident and not needing self validation's of worth every single day from a specific person.

@垃圾大师 I also viewed her as a best friend which is why I spent so much time with her. I never really said needed to date me either. Yeah I wondered if she would ever change her mind someday but figured it probably wasn't possible. She would flirt with me at times even despite saying she preferred to be single. It honestly confused me what it is she really wanted from me. Maybe I'm just dense but whatever. I appreciate the advice though.