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How do I learn patience and to not rush in?

darkprinceofaudio
What advice do you have on waiting for the right moment to ask someone out? I have a deep longing for a significant other that I often throw myself at every opportunity. This has lead me to make poor choices like ignoring red flags or make people uncomfortable with my constant flirting. I want to avoid having a bad reputation so learning to stay my impulses will behoove me.
reinhardt76
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gundamu
I think the biggest tip is killing this "longing for a significant other" feeling in the first place. Focus on your own hobbies and life, don't dedicate all of your time into a single person that you're not even dating. If there's interest there on their end they'd seek you out on their own accord anyway. There's nothing wrong with making your interest known early on though. In fact that's ideal so the other party knows that you're not only there to be friends, just don't over do it and try to just be breathing down their neck constantly flirting and stuff. Also no confessing undying love or any other weird shit
reinhardt76
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lovemyweird
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maxkarateboy
X2 to what 我が心は明鏡止水 said. Agree on all of it. On top of that. When you are yourself, doing stuff you like (hobbies etc./life), but you clearly SEE person X that you realy like or just could see yourself with. Let them know without beeing pushy & without 'SHE/HE 'must date me attitude', be more like 'whatever' :) What do you mean by it? (when I was single) If I liked someone & could see myself trying something with person X. -I could go out for 'sznak'/coffe/pup/tea with you, you seem nice. IF She/He likes you... you get YES ... WE TOOTALY SHOULD. => you are ok to try IF She/He avoid anwser like 'yyyy', 'maabyyy', 'no', 'just a smile' => you have a HINT that you are NOT her/his type. (..and you should NOT push more as you HAD your chance) Now realy important advice. We may think person X is one of the kind, onle SHE/He can make my life etc. Don't be try to make perfect scenario, or be pushy or ask more then once. I will put it this way. If someone like you, they will say yes to you :) If they don't fancy you live them be as friend or at all. Important part: There is no point in forcing them to like you(beeing pushy/in face/trying a LOT). If there is not first thing SPARK, that relationship will fail anyway with time. If love exsist, should be both ways if you want it to last. Unless you want fake love if there is such a thing as love. Last thing: If you stress out a lot. Is more eazy to ask. 'I could go out with you.' - as statement (without any hopes) Rather then say. Do you want to go out with me? (looots of stress IF SHE/HE etc.) Might sound sily, but it works. Good luck with everything :) P.S. It might sound crap to say, 'don't care about X', when you care. I say is best in long run :)
maxkarateboy
Actualy one more thing. You can go other route. Be walking advert of yourself. What? You should know what is best about you. Let say hobbies/sence of humor/your life style/what you like/how you treat people u like. If you show those best things about you, people will just want to spend time with you. Might end up, that he/she will ask you...rather you asking them. Don't make FAKE advert, be yourself will work for you :) I always say, showing who I am don't give me many friends, but give me best ones :)
gundamu
Yeah, the biggest thing I've noticed a lot of other guys doing that just ruins them is giving the opposite sex ALL of the validation right off the bat. Like I'm not saying that women by nature are just attention whores who get bored of you once they get enough validation or something but when you give someone so much validation and affection from the very start....You become a lot less interesting and come off as weird, needy, or just weak. And I mean that goes both ways because I dunno about you but I'd make a strategic retreat if a girl comes on extremely hard early on. There's not really any need to push the matter, just let them know you're interested and just chill. Though then again that's just my two cents, not exactly sure if I'm qualified to even talk about any of this since my love life has basically been that of some type of dense harem anime MC, where I've been totally oblivious to all of the girls that were highly interested in me over the years. :u
maxkarateboy
我が心は明鏡止水 It works! :D Keep to it! ( am using same 'system') :D I have my gf for like 9 years now :D Future Waifu :D ....and is nothing wrong with anime harem :D She knows I like my oppai :D hahahah :D She always say is better them then other girl ;p ^_^
maxkarateboy
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