Worrying bout...

So this is the only place I could find to rant for otaku relationship advice. And I might be overthinking things like I always do, so please if anyone has thoughts on this I'm curious to know. P.S I'll be discreet with the info. I'm in a one year relationship. Ooh how do I start this..And one year in I've been wondering if they are sexually attracted to me, or if the relationship is just an anime shipping fantasy to them. We met during roleplaying on a group chat at first. At some point the rp became one on one and things got sexual. Which I'm kinda embarrassed about. But it was my first time roleplaying anything. And the ship was sailing strong at the time. We have dated about a year now. cosplay together, go to cons. Being that we've dated for a year I've understood to set the boundary between fiction shipping and our relationship. I'd think after a year we'd be intimate. Yet the most we have ever done is cuddle. (We don't see each other a lot due to adult life. Which is another story.) Sometimes I'll send a flirty text or sexual joke, and the reply will be jokingly avoidance, or rejection. Yet they'll be all for romanticizing and anime shipping jokes. Of course their reactions are confusing me more and more, since what we roleplayed was explicit. And that was when we barely knew each other, or even what we looked like. -- Another thing is they read, and write a lot of sexual yaoi and fanfic. What confuses me is that they say they aren't very sexually active, whenever I bring it up. But when I mention that one time we roleplayed together and/ or the fact they write sexual shipping stories, they avoid the topics. Now I know that fanfiction is a hobby to a lot of fangirls. I just don't understand how this person claims to not feel "in the mood" like most people, yet commit to making such specifically sexual content. I'm worried they aren't considering the realness a relationship needs and that it's too fantasized. Not to mention if they are even sexually attracted to me in any non anime shipping, fantasy romance way. If any of that made sense..

You've been dating this person for a year? This is probably not what you want to hear, but you need to just ask them. If you've been committed to this person for this long you should at least be able to communicate to this extent. I could tell you what you want to hear, or how I would think in this situation, but the truth of the matter is that no one truly knows what your significant other is thinking except your significant other.

I think at the end of the day, after a year of dating, if you're not somewhat sexually active with each other (at least once a week imo) then a serious conversation probably needs to be had. This is assuming it's not a long distance relationship and there's no religious or cultural reason as to why the person might not or can't be sexually active. You don't have to go into such a conversation saying we need to start fucking like jack rabbits. Something more along the lines of we've been dating for awhile, I really care and love you, and I'd like to start becoming more intimate with you. If she can't have a candid conversation about such things with you, she plays it off as no big deal or can't give you a straight answer, and becoming more intimate is something you desire and she can't or isn't willing to open up to you more, I think at the end of the day you seriously need to start reconsidering your relationship with her. It's one thing if you'd only been dating for a month or so. After a year? Again, assuming there's no extenuating circumstances like cultural, religious, or health related reasons, then yeah, you two should on paper be more intimate with each other.

as the posts on the top say, you will need to have a clear talk with him about that. it might end bad or it might open the sexual activeness ure looking for, which for quite some means a deeper bond. men are also quite complex, my very first irl gf was what i thought what i always wanted (a fucking pervert) but definitely not the girl i'd take home and present to my parents. felt like i had to break up with her after the 1st sexual encounter before it would turn into something with no return.

You guys may need a code in order to know what level you want to take things to when you guys meet each other. Like a yellow bandana on the wrist means "I'm ready for sexy time." where as a blue one may convey "Let's relax and just enjoy cuddles." Inform them that neither should judge the other based on what bandana they wear, since if they don't sink up, things stay in the nonsexual camp, and it's just a way of being transparent with each other until you get used to reading the more subtle signs in your partner. Just an idea.