Worried about a friend.

If you ever want to know why it's not a good idea to run off and elope with someone you haven't known that long, this is a pretty good example. Maybe they've known each other for awhile too, but it's just a point I like to make for any youngsters (under 21) on this site. Not knowing a ton of the details of their current situation, but given the few circumstances we know about, she needs to go home and be with her family for her and her unborn child's sake. I get the reasoning why the bf wants her to stay because he wants to have a certain level of control over what is happening with his gf and the child, but they strike me as a pretty young and naive couple and they don't have the support structure (emotionally, socially, or financially) to deal with the situation as it stands now. If she's in a strange city where she knows no one because she moved there to be with her bf, the dynamic of their relationship changed as soon as he knocked her up. The gf needs to be in a stable and supportable place and that is probably with her parents who can provide the temporary environment she needs to be able to deal with her swinging emotions and having the kid. I mean, if he won't let her go willing, I hate to say sneak out in the middle of the night or while he's at work, but she's gotta put some sort of plan in place secretly to get home. Pack a small bag, ask mom and dad to buy her a bus or plane ticket, and leave while he's gone. Or mom and dad need to come down and physically remove her from the home and take her home. The bf can't put a gun to her head and keep her there. There's no tactful way to do it unfortunately. If the guy is too emotionally immature to realize what's best for the situation, for her, and for his unborn child, fuck him. It's only a temporary situation and they can look at moving back together down the road after the child is born, but at this juncture the days of lovely dovey bf/gf moving and living together as a couple is now out the door. There's a much bigger dynamic at play now and it's time to grow the fuck up and do what's best for the kid. If they can barely take care of themselves financially, that is no place to bring a child into the world that is all but going to emotionally and financially break them going forward trying to make it on their own.

Whoa whoa whoaaaaaa... you're making opinions based on what COULD be... yet you told rat she can't have opinions based on an IF... so you're doing the exact same thing you're accusing someone else on. Bravo. You even give opinions based on what POSSIBLY is happening. Do you know for a fact what is happening? Obviously not, cuz AS YOU STATED, there aren't any facts to go on. AGAIN, you did exactly what you accused someone else of. Self awareness man. The fact that you have known her for 3 years is irrelevant. xD Is there a reason you're allowed to make opinions based on COULD's and POSSIBLY's, but someone else isn't allowed to make opinions based on IF's? It's almost as if you're being a hypocrite. Bravo. That takes self awareness. edit: Oh, and good day.

Space cadet, I recommend taking a language and reading's class, because I multiple times said, None of us could make a really good judgement on it, Not just her. Stop white knighting for a minute, and actually understand what I wrote to begin with. So let's repeat what I said if you're too lazy to read it. "That we don't have enough information to advise a strong decision for her." That means none of us. "That there are many things we Don't know." Because unlike her friend, we don't know the individual in question, We don't know her past, we don't know her history with mental problems. So I stated, instead of allowing, Me, or You, or her, or anyone else to make the decision, to go find someone else, Like an actual therapist, who can get all the information to do so. That's not me advising a decision, that's me saying she should go find someone that Could under far better circumstances, with all the information needed. Stop trying to prove my message wrong because I said something you didn't like, and Actually READ What I said. Because how you're responding shows you did not, and probably only skimped through it. Or you would know I did not do what you just said at all. I swear it's like CNN in here. "I advise you go to a professional to help you decide instead of people on the internet who know too little." "HE SAID YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, HYPOCRITE!" Pfft.

Leo The Wolf, Don't feed Spacecadet. Spacecadet, Dont feed Leo The Wolf. http://www.quickmeme.com/img/45/4546004cc89297190c8f23490cf4ab4826d5ddd0dd3bcf33595b9e1b39f762d5.jpg

This is pretty complex and can definitely ruin your life if you make any regrettable choices. In my opinion, I would definitely talk to your friend, and calm her down, and tell her to think really hard about this. Based off all the info that was given his family doesn't really care about the health of the baby or the stress that she is going through. Stress can really affect her and the babies health. She should be in a loving and caring environment where she feels the safest, which in her case, would be with her family. She truly misses them and that's where she should be. The boyfriend should understand that if he truly cares about her.. I can't really tell you that this is the best option since all I have to go off of is what you posted, but based off what you explained to us this would be the most optimal answer I can give you. Stress/smoke can definitely have an adverse effect on a babies health which is truly the most important think right now right?