I want to date otaku/nerdy girls but have no luck.

*Copied and pasted from my reddit post, I wanted to receive some feedback on my fellow otakus here* I'm a big anime fan and gamer and have been trying these past 2 years to find a girl who shares my passions but I have no such luck no matter what I do. I have social anxiety due to being diagnosed with asperger's but I try not to let this stop me from meeting people. I've tried flirting with girls at Anime conventions such as Anime Los Angeles and the Anime Expo but tend to never have any luck getting them attracted to me. I've tried using an app called Tinder and even went as far as paying for the premium membership twice but I've had no luck. I've also tried using OkCupid, maiotaku.com, Coffee Meets Bagel, and joining some otaku dating groups on Facebook but often times when I try messaging/liking girls, I often get no response or the girl ends up being a bot/troll. I've also been mentioning in my dating website/app profiles that I'm a veteran volunteer for the Anime Expo and am hoping to use my free 4-Day badge to give to a girl who'd like to go on a date with me, but I still get no attention from any otaku girls. And I'm not being close-minded and only putting my focus on nerdy girls, I also try to hit-on non-nerdy girls as well, but I just can't seem to attract anyone. And when I do end up finding someone irl that I'm attracted to, they are always taken. In fact my two best friends who are girls and share a lot of the same interests as me (including embarrassing stuff like hentai) are already taken. I don't mean to sound cocky, but I don't think my looks or weight are the issue either, here's a few pics from my old Tinder profile: https://imgur.com/a/MyZARtX I'm considering at this rate to give up on finding love and going in the "friends with benefits" route and looking for girls who are into hentai on websites like fetlife or something, as I don't know what to do anymore. I'm turning 26 this year and I've never been in a relationship, I feel pathetic. And Anime Expo 2018 is just next month so I fear that this will just be another year where I go alone and can find no one to give my extra ticket to. I see groups of people going to AX every year and I'm always going alone. I just don't understand how people find and connect to other people to go to these events with. I used to have a group of anime buddies to hangout with at my old college's anime club, but we've since graduated and headed our own ways across the state. Does anyone have any advice for a 25-year old otaku to meet that special someone to share his love of anime (and is possibly open-minded about hentai) and gaming with? Thank you for your time.

Oh wow I'm not sure how I could help. It seems like you've been putting yourself out there and that's about all you can do. I've only ever been in two relationships before and the both started online because I have too much anxiety to start anything in real life. But it seems like you don't have that much of a problem lol. I'm not saying give up but you might be better off just focusing on just being you for a while and when you least expect it something will happen.

If you expect too much regarding relationships, you'll just hurt yourself further. You're doing the best you can and I encourage you to keep going but don't expect too much in that area. Work on yourself as you look. Keep it balanced.

You're a decent looking dude and you appear to have a lot going for you. Keep in mind that on Tinder (probably similar for most other dating sites) women swipe right only 14% of the time. Likely on the same few best looking and tall guys. It's way too early to give up. You could try volunteering at a smaller convention where there's more of a sense of community and where it's less of a clusterfuck. Hell, maybe even think about moving out of Cali - somewhere your dollars can stretch further and the people are more humble. Hope this helps.

Thank you everyone for all the wonderful feedback, I greatly appreciate it. :) I won't give up and will try to meet more otaku girls at the 2018 Anime Expo and continue to put myself out their. I will also continue to focus working on myself and develop more as a person.

I definitely agree with CrossBones's statement regarding expectations about relationships. Don't get too worked up about not having been in a relationship at your age! I have some close friends around my age (23-26) who haven't had their first relationship either. You'd be surprised how many guys out there are on the same boat tbh. Just be yourself and be natural, no need to try and go overboard to impress anybody. Maybe it's just me but from my experience people in general like open mindedness and being able to talk to someone about anything without the worry of being judged, looks can only get you so far. Of course that doesn't mean that you'll hit it off with girls you meet all the time but I would say that's a great start! Some girls will be attracted to you and others wont but there's no need to be discouraged. Your chance will come soon enough and it will be up to you to decide if you want to take it or not :) The next time you chat with someone you find interesting just say something like "It'd be really nice to get to know you better! Mind if I get your number?". The approach matters too! Spread those positive vibes and i'm sure there's bound to be someone who will take interest in you! Friends with benefits can be fun and all but it's definitely not for everyone especially if you often find yourself getting attached emotionally to others. Especially considering that either you or them could potentially be seeing/meeting other people at any point as well. If you're bothered by this then I would advise not to try it out unless you're 100% of what being fwb entails. Try not to focus so adamantly on finding "love". Instead try finding out what qualities you like/don't like in a girl so that when the opportunity comes for a serious relationship, you will know what to look out for. Relationships aren't always fun and games and there will be times where it really helps knowing how to handle certain situations and being able to realize if your relationship is a healthy one or not. Sorry if I seem too naggy >__< I was just trying to give my two cents from my experiences! I really respect how despite having social anxiety you're still going out there trying to meet new people :) If anything feel free to DM me if you'd like to discuss more privately

All I can say is to you is you need to look in the mirror and see what you are trying to become because looking for a girl of your type is just going to make you sick and make you feel like you are the problem as you just need to find somebody that has a connection with you even if they are not all the way up into your standards. We all have that opposite that attracts.