Depression and suicide.

I don't think relaxing is exactly an antidote to being anxious, it's probably better keeping the mind occupied in something else. Probably the reason you are ok at work.

Depression were really bad the first time i got it, constant insomnia, endless anxiety, i detest my own existent and wish that i can just disappear or hope to not waking up in the next morning. Now it's just pure irony. I've taken in the will of living for others, so if the world and its people made me sick and drove me to hate myself. I shall live on to defy what i hate and save those who is in need of a beacon in their life.

My depression has gotten worse since last november, but I still live! It just kind of sucks how I haven't been able to get rid of it no matter how much i try. Always losing my interests in things, hard time concentrating, and feeling empty sucks. Makes me feel like I aint even human, but more like a robot.

Emptyness is the word I can relate the most. My depression used to be intermittent, some periods I was ok, then a period of depression, ok, bad...and so on. Meh, but that's over, I'm ok now. I don't feel sad or depressed, but that feeling of emptyness is still stuck with me. I can just keep looking for something. I guess wanting to be better is enough motivation to keep going. I'm probably not the best person to say it, but I hope you Mikan can keep your motivation to be better too. There is still a lot of future. There are still things to enjoy ahead.

I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety almost 11 years ago, I take meds for it as well as sleeping meds so I can actually sleep, but my friends have also helped me a lot, but currently the main reason I'm still alive is because I want to be there for my daughter as she grows up.

finding a new job helped me for a few months to keep my mind off morbid thoughts but they've returned again with full force; you know, the kind of when you're near a passing by car and you hope something will go wrong and it'll hit you and end your miserable existence.. why is it so hard to find a girlfriend and give her all your love and cuddles in the world? why was i such a spineless trash and failed my university? why haven't i killed myself already?? no hope only rope

I was diagnosed with clinical depression, but haven't been prescribed medication yet. That's only scratching the surface for me though.

I have never personally sought help for feelings of depression/suicidal ideation, so frankly, I have no clue if I would be diagnosed with it. I normally just assume that what I am experiencing is nothing more than typical negative feelings, and that real depression is much worse than I could comprehend. It has not hindered more performance in an economic sense (school/work), which was the primary foundation for my rationalizations. A part of me believes that I could have experienced depression before, and yet another part believes I am merely being self-important for even entertaining that notion.