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A Tragic Short Story// I want your thoughts on this :)

tatsuya_ai
"Sunflower" A girl dressed in white, hair colored of platinum blonde with the tips becoming silver, sorrowful violet eyes and blood red lips. Her slender figure stands in the middle of a green field with myriads of sunflowers surrounding her. She gazed up at the clear blue sky as she remembers her Nicholas and the last moments they had together. The sky was different back then, it was a blazing red, ominous and dark. Screams and cries echoed in every part of her beloved village. The knights of the king raided every single house and killed every living person. It was a bloodbath. Fire consumes each house as the villagers fled; some died, some survived and some fought back only to die in vain. A girl and boy desperately ran away from the chaos, the boy pulling on the girl's arm as they headed for the forest. "Hang on, Athena!! We're almost there." The boy said as he held onto Athena's arm tightly. "N-Nicholas... I can't go on..." She replied as she tried to breathe, but coughed for the smoke and ash is getting thick. They were almost out of the forest, relief overwhelming them gradually, however... A knight had caught up with them and stabbed Nicholas in his side. He coughed up blood, yet he still ran toward the forest, still holding on to Athena's arm. He bit his lip as he staggered, already losing his strength. "Nicholas!!" Athena cried as she caught him, just in time. "A-Athena..." He said, tears falling from his eyes as he reached out and caressed her cheek. "I won't make it... Go run, Athena... Please live..." He muttered under his breath as his legs went numb. "No! I won't let you! Please don't die on me, Nicholas!!" She shouted, her voice breaking as she stared at him with teary eyes. "Ha... Please live on for me, Athena... I love you..." He smiled as his once bright blue eyes became dull and lifeless. His hand dropped, all the blood in his face and hands... all gone. His skin became pale and lips were blue... "N-Nicholas?" She shook him. Realizing he was gone, she cried in vain. "Nicholas!" She cried as she wrapped his arms around his lifeless bloody, hot tears rolling down her cheeks as she kept screaming his name over and over again until she passed out, lying beside her beloved Nicholas. The flames were surrounding them, but she didn't care. Athena looked down as she caressed a sunflower's petals. "Nicholas... You were the sun in my life for you brightened my days with smiles, laughs and the memories you gave to me..." She paused as she tilted her head upwards and smiled to the sky. "I love you, my dear Nicholas... I hope I can meet you sometime soon..." She muttered as tears fell from her eyes. The wind breezes through with ease, her hair flowing as she smiles to herself and cherishes her memories of her dear Nicholas.
kuroshiro_2573
I suggest adding something other than backstory to make the story tragic, maybe an after story showing Athena trying to cope with the absence of Nicholas and taking it somewhere dark. Most good tragedies ended tragically.
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