Boderline personality disorder

Does anyone here suffers from boderline personality disorder whereby you have difficuly controlling ur emotions and having anxiety at random times?. Because i do and because of it , its hard to have any meaningful relationship/friendship with people. Whenever i get too happy with someone i get clingy to them and the worse always happens with them leaving.. Each time it happens i shut off people and push them away. There are times its overwhelming and i cant take it anymore. I do have good friends that are caring and hear me out but honestly i just isolate myself from them alot cuz i cant bring myself to tell them properly what ive been through. Its like i want people but dont want people at the same time idk. But honestly li ing like this makes me really depressed.. Even though i tried talking to alot of people.

@yandere justice warrior , i dont actually leave people if im friends with them , its more of i get tired of cliche lines when i open up to people or typical "hi hows your day etc" kind of thing.. Makes me wanna push them away. Even when i try to put in alot of effort and manage to hold a converaation its exhausting. A @anima deus not really u can try wiki or google

@lonelywolf i have BPD. had issues with yandere myself. and thus stopped talking to them, as and example of what they were explaining. regardless. your symptoms sound slightly different from mine. i'd have to really think about it a bunch to really have anything meaningful to say. honestly my bpd doesn't really make me sad. it makes me angry, hateful, especially at myself. But in general, everything and everyone, or at the least, almost everything and everyone. are you going to a therapist? BPD is a personality disorder, it can only be treated through therapy with a psychiatrist. some symptoms can be countered with some medication, but others are purely personality disorders that you cannot do as much about. in my own experience, the personality parts are the worst, and the hardest to work with. on an additional note. I talked to my therapist today actually, and due to being in a relationship with someone who has autism, she thinks it could possibly work out better than with other people due to the fact that we both have trouble understanding social cues and such, thus we understand what eachother is going through. She mostly said that it's quite interesting, etc etc. the worst symptom for me is pretty much all of them. its a fucking awful disorder. as an example. yandere is rather strange, the problem i had is that due to her being stranger than most other people, i picked up on social cues even less so than most other people. at least that's what it seemed like. i have no intentions of getting into an arguement with you @yandere, im only using you as an example. apologies. i am only acknowledging you at this time to make that clear. oh, right. also, @lonely wolf, just remembered. during my talking to my therapist. i realized, due to her help, that in my head, i am constantly pushing and pulling other people to and from me, but that i am not very aware that i am from other's perspectives, doing one or the other. interestingly to me as well, is that with my current relationship (person who is autistic) she is a sadist. and scared the crap out of me, and due to past trauma, put me into shall we say... a fight or flight mode. she got a bit upset and i tried my best to explain that i needed time to myself, normally i wouldn't even try to repair the relationship, i would immediately run out of fear of her and her saying such sadistic things. although basically, when i said "clingy" she got the wrong idea of what kind of clingy i meant, as most often it just means overly affectionate, not hardcore violent yandere. which is i suppose part of the autistic part coming out. we ended up clearing the misunderstanding and things are pretty fine after that, but i was very scared, i still am, due to past trauma and high paranoia. but it is less so for some reason. one other thing i notice, im not sure if its due to BPD, but whenever i talk or really say anything, nobody has any idea what im talking about most of the time. i suppose i don't know how to put my thoughts into words correctly. and i do rather feel like anything i say nobody really gets what i mean. there's almost always a misunderstanding. which frustrates the fuck out of me. and i just don't like dealing with trying to explain what i mean, because the more i explain, the more confusing things seem to get for other people a lot of the time. i fucking HATE BPD.