Breaking Up

I agree with Malice, it doesn't feel good when you let somebody go who was dear to you. It's good to face your feelings rather than let them linger. There are very few people in my life I can say I was in love with, you need to find the differentiation between love, lust, and infatuation (and sometimes they blend together or seem extremely similar). You need to determine what kind of person you want and move on. I think the best thing to do is try to be happy with yourself in the first place, and then you can look for love outside. It's not a good idea to look for validation through others. A good thing to keep in mind is that you can still be friends with somebody after you break up, my philosophy is that if you care enough about somebody (and they feel the same) it's a shame to let them leave your life completely. As far as what I personally do to alleviate the problem, is communication with the person I broke up with. If I'm really upset and they don't communicate I kind of end up listening to music, watch anime, and definitely play video games. There's a mourning period of a relationship that I believe you should take in between relationships, it's not a good idea to blindly go into a new one or just jump into one too early after a new break up too.

I DO NOT recommend this to everyone, but it does help for me. What I usually do is break communication with close, familiar people for a temporary period. Sometimes being by yourself can be a means to help you heal, because some people you converse with on the matter may not understand the turmoil you go through. Forcing someone to cheer up is even more foolhardy, especially if they're in a situational or clinical depression. It's even worse when it happens to someone else, and you try your damnedest to break them out of it, but it just doesn't seem to either sink in, or they act reckless in jumping into another relationship so quickly without knowing of the other person first hand. However, if you absolutely need to talk to someone, it can be healthier than letting it stew in your mind. There are things I have dwelled on and have thought dreadfully about as a means of vengeance or self-hatred. Yet I always remind myself things can always get even worse if you do not let it get better. When I usually have these problems, I game, I watch films, binge watch anime, concentrate on channeling my feelings into art, anything to keep my mind busy, and off toxic thoughts. As Lamby puts it best. Time will heal all wounds. It's up to you on whether or not you properly tend to them.

First I'd have to spend a while alone in meditation to contemplate the nature and direction of the relationship. Whether it can be salvaged, whether it should be salvaged, and what needs to be done for both parties to meet the optimal outcome. If I'm ending a relationship, I try to do so in a way that lets them known I respect them, and honor the experiences I had with them, but decisively wish to move on. I try to stick away from anything that would trigger arguments, or get them defensive, and if they are hurled my way, I would have mentally prepared myself before hand to accept them as a growing experience. I've learned the hard way what it means to have a one sided relationship drag on for too long. As for being broken up with... Well, I've never had that happen officially, but I have been in enough situations to know what its like to have mutual budding feelings for one another, only for the other to decide she likes someone else. There's nothing I can do about that, so I respect their free will, withdraw into my home, and whine inwardly until I've had time to heal. I definitely prefer longterm, intimate relationships, but since I've never had to rely on anyone else to be my source of happiness, I'm generally in a better place to handle breakups than a lot of my friends who for better or worse, put all their eggs in one basket.

Be alone for 1 or 2 days, then just hang out with friends, do things you like, or go to a party and get wasted boi. Also helps if you find out how horrible said person was, at least for me it did. You get over it extra fast.