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What do you think of this? What should I do?

bonfiyah
Communicate with her regardless. This is where you can reassure her that everything will be okay. Just ask simple, easy thing such as what's on her mind. She could just have some sense of doubt and that's the time to have a discussion about it. If you let things just stay where it is, her mind may just wander more and perhaps make wrong decision or say the wrong things. I can understand her part about sleep. Since your relationship is an overseas relationship, there's a massive time gap. An idea I have is probably set a schedule. I used to have friends from overseas and how the friendship work is that we hangout on Friday to Sunday nearly all day since weekdays are school days. We still communicated during the weekdays but kept in our timezone which made us have personal space thus minimum conversation. Pretty much, weekdays are normal timezone for ourselves and Friday to Sunday were freezones. Gosh that sounds stupid. If the issue with her is that she spends too much time on the phone, then set a schedule for when you both have a little space and when you both spend time together. How long is this relationship?
yaasshat
Want advice? Here's the only advice that you need, talk to her, tell her how you feel and ask her the same questions. In any relationship, you should have good communication, be open and honest. Besides, no one can answer your questions aside from her and I doubt you'd just want a random persons opinion.
tatsuro_yanagi
@รץภ Yes you are right. It is better to set a schedule and I think that is a right way but I think this time time gap doesn't matter. I mean there is other reason. While ago I actually asked her about her mind and then she said she is confused and pressured. She kept on saying "maybe I am being weird". I also asked her one thing if she gets annoyed or like if I force her to say "I love you and I miss you" when I say them to her. Then she said she just feels pressured to say it back, it's not forced. and then again she said " maybe I am just being weird". So I told her that I shouldn't say them for a while but she said I can still say them. So I told her I really wanna tell "I miss you and I love you" but I am uncomfortable to say them in this situation. She still says like sorry for making you worry...something like that. She still calls me like "Honey". I am very confused. For American people, calling honey or baby is not special? I mean you can just call it easily? I am sorry I don't know how to explain. Sigh... Since last Sep 2, 2016, so it's been 6months or so.
tatsuro_yanagi
@yaasshat Yea I should talk to her more this time but the problem is She doesn't really want to talk on the phone as I wrote she is kind of tired of using or being on the internet stuff. If possible I wanna talk to her in person but since I am in Japan and she is in the US. Yes I want random persons opinion and I think it could be helpful. I just wanted to write and talk here because except her I have no one to talk. I know I should talk to her instead of talking here....
tatsuro_yanagi
Maybe I am too serious? Sometimes I feel like I am too serious about relationship, that is the reason why she feels pressured. I feel like I am a very boring person too. I understand why I am still single even though I am almost 30 :( Maybe I am a problem Anyway I asked what is her plan for today and she said she will visit her friend called Kiki. According to my her, her friend is big fan of Japanese anime stuff. Anyway She will text me later, so lets see the next movement...
yaasshat
Also, don't blame yourself. To me, it sounds like some doubt may have entered her mind, but again, you won't know without talking to her. If she can't be bothered to talk over the phone or Skype, meeting up might not be something worth thinking about. Texting is even less personal than talking or Skype, it's just sending an electronic note. I can understand if she's busy, but if ya'll did that stuff before, it makes no sense why not now. It's unfair of her to string you along and that's what I feel like may be happening. Again, don't take my word for it.
tatsuro_yanagi
okay, I should be positive. Being negative is nothing good and negativity brings another negativity. I agree that communication is very necessary to figure it out right now. I don't think she is not really busy because she is not working right now but she told me that she will start working at the end of Mar or in the beginning of Apr. Yea Actually I asked her if she still wants to meet me in person or not and she said she still wants to meet me.... That makes me very confused though. I told her maybe I should just postpone visiting her next May or June and then she said sorry for making you sad. She also told me that she doesn't know her work schedule yet, so it is better to postpone.I hope I could talk to her more and know what she is really thinking about. I really miss her though. I get so bored without talking to her.
yaasshat
I'm just saying, you want to be sure. It's not like traveling is free (unless money is no issue with you). I hope the best for you two, but I can only go by what you say here and my gut says something seems off. But, I don't know either of you two and it could just be a simple case of you over thinking. This is a hard situation. I mean, I'm sure you both really do want to meet, but if there are things to question now, you have to really think if it's worth the risks involved. But, taking risks is what life is about, I'd just hate to hear a story of heartbreak, wasted time and money. I hope you've told her about how you're feeling and had a serious discussion about all of this, if you haven't already. Yeah, stay positive, but sometimes it's just worth listening to your gut. I know for me, just traveling in the U.S would be a financial commitment that'd be hard enough for me to do, let alone to travel to another country. If you're willing to take the risks and understand there are no guarantees, go for it. What I mean is, stay positive, but understand it's not like you two are married and there's no guarantee things will work, but that doesn't mean that you can't enjoy the experience regardless. Go in positive and stay positive.
tatsuro_yanagi
Yes Traveling costs a lot but it is still worth it. I have been talking (Texting though) a lot about us. What I am sure is she is still confused but good thing we still communicate each other everyday. I told her that I understand about being confused. I think we need a lot of time to figure it out. I hope everything goes well. I really wanna be with her in the future because she is a really great and honest person. Yea this is hard. Especially I feel like life is not easy when it comes to handling people stuff like that. TO be honest, talking here like this makes me feel better. Like I need to talk or somebody to listen to me is actually helpful. I feel better even though things nothing really progress yet
tbryants
Yeah, I think that SYN and yaasshat gave you some pretty good advice. Stay positive, keep communicating, and give it some serious thought before you come to the U.S. because it's not like you two are married and it is a big financial commitment (would be for me anyway), but it is really important to actually meet someone that you want to have a serious relationship with face to face (it might even be something that y'all two should talk more about because y'all probably wouldn't want it to be a long distance relationship forever right). In any respects, good luck and let us know how it goes.
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