Confessions

many years ago i was being "weird" i might talk funny or say nasty things. do weird or bad things my ex wife to be got tired of it cleaned my bank account and left me (no fault or guilt given) welp turns out i had brain cancer and the pressure and the flow of blood made me not me. even if for only a short time 15 year or so later i still love her more than life itself, but knowing i disappointed her hurts me. now i have cancer again and other health issues and i have no fear of death i just hope she get some joy out of if that sounds weird i donno im pretty d**n loyal. i love her still so much that yes id die to make her happy. not like i have the best past and im ugly to boot. so i have not dated in a very long time just a lonly dude that wants to chat and anime and all i get from here are 3 letter replys or 1 letter replys at best i write a good sentence and get " hi " over and over and OVER its so darn annoying so any girl over 18 wanna talk to a guy that does not wanna treat u like a sex object and actually enjoys your company hmu. if not sorry to waste your time .. would like to veg in bed watching anime w u or game talk text w/e just friends is cool more MIGHT be possible but i have like 0 self esteem after being treated like less than trash most of the time. im a homebody i dont like to go out really so pref same type of girl (health issues again mostly)

i confess i use gay and f@g too much as insults so im going to start using straight and breeder as insults too to even it out

I had a SO back in middle school and parts of highschool and she was my best friend even after she cheated on me multiple times I still forgave her recently I cut all contact with that person and to this day I still don't know if it was the right call, I'm scared that relationship blurred the line on love, I miss the feeling of butterflies in my stomach and being excited to talk to someone. Hence why I'm on this site

Since I have struggle with my roommate every time I go out or come in I just tread on their shoes and curse them as I can so I feel a bit relived