Breaking it down

Just a few questions for anybody willing to answer. When you think of long term relationships between people do you normally think about the present or the future more? If you do experience break ups in a long term relationship are you one to bode over it or move on using it as a means to improve yourself more? When seeking out a person long term do you actively seek them out or let them come to you?

I'm hella young so maybe not too much help but; 1) When thinking of a long term relationship, you should probably focus on the present more, the future is something that's undecided, don't throw it aside, but don't make it your primary focus. 2) I think a break up is something that is normal to bode over, as if you were that emotionally attached to the person it's natural to be saddened. I'd use that sorrow to move on and improve myself. 3) I never actively seek out a person as that has always felt a bit faux to me, but if I find someone and genuinely find myself attached to them, I'll play every card in my hand to get the goal I want.

Let's see, When I'm in a relationship I tend to think half about the future and half about the present. The things I think about of the future are if I want a long term relationship with this person, could I see myself marrying or having kids with them, and would that future make me happy. At the same time I think about if I'm happy in the present. With a break up, you are going to be at least a little sad, I mean it's someone missing from your life so it feels slightly empty. That said I do feel upset but I use that feeling to improve what needs to be improved and fix it in the relationships to come. If there is someone I will seek them out without them knowing. It's like a game of tag but I want it to seem like they seeked me out first.

The present is where I focus. Future is uncertain and, for me at least, focusing too much on it just has me ignore the moments we have in the present. It seems like people get so wrapped up in what could be that they don't pay attention to what is. Know what one of the biggest regrets dying people have in common? They regret not having had enough fun in life, being too worried and scared of other's approval or their own apprehensions to just go out and do what they want. Now sure there's a limit to how impulsive a person should act but at the end of the day you only get one shot at this for all you know. I enjoy the now more. The little moments in-between a long term relationship. Since adopting this attitude my relationships have lasted longer and they were less stressful when we broke up. I do a little boding. Sure it bums you out when it's over whether others let you go or if you had to let them go. But hey sometimes things don't work out. Use the free time to hit the gym more, go for a walk on a trail, take up a new interest. Let yourself be a little upset but also work to improve yourself from it. Take the lesson and then move on. I seek them out. It's fun and sitting around hoping they come to me isn't. "Oh please choose me" Damn that. I choose you!