Some advice for you guys

InfernalMonsoon @infernalmonsoon commented on Some advice for you guys

Jun 25, 16 at 3:17pm

Aye I've seen this an awful lot during the year I've been on this site (admittedly on and off but I've been here roughly a year). My comment is going to be a rant more than anything but I'm sure a lot of people here mean well in what they're doing but I can't help but facepalm whenever I see how bloody desperate some people are on here. It rarely happens in public comments but it does definitely crop up from time to time - although I've made plenty of female friends on this site and I've had a few talk about this kind of thing to me before and the things I've heard are pretty sad in my opinion, funny but sad. Expecting someone to reply within a ridiculously short amount of time is always something that bothered me; with how busy our daily adult lives can be with all the obligations and responsibilities we need to attend to, I think it's unreasonable when people expect a near instant reply to every single message they send as if we're all at our computers 24/7. I agree with the whole trying to rush into a relationship thing too, a lot of people try to instantly get together with someone the very moment they start talking to them and I don't think it's the dumbest thing ever, I mean I'm pretty sure we all see that one beautiful girl or handsome guy and we just want to make them ours but I feel that taking a little while to get to know each other as people is quite important (Hell it took one of my friends just over a year before she finally found someone) and that whole picture thing is definitely a big deal without a doubt. Too many people fly without having a picture of themselves and for the large number of people who are looking for a relationship, that's pretty dumb. Not saying looks are everything but I feel if you started dating someone without knowing what they look like and you're expecting them to be the physical embodiment of your perfect woman/man physical-wise and then find out their appearance isn't to your liking then you're most likely going to be disappointed. Plus I think it's also important to just have at least one on a site like this, especially if there's romantic intentions since you can put a face on the person you're talking to - I feel it creates a more personal connection where you know you're talking to a real, living, breathing human being on the other side and not just a faceless geek. Admittedly my picture is roughly 6 months or so out of date and haven't really gotten around to putting up a newer, better picture but I still have one nonetheless. As for the generic greetings on conversations, I can definitely see why that would bother anyone. My initial greeting message isn't exactly the most amazing or original but I try to convey who I am in a subtle way without typing way too much to begin with (Because there are times where I type WAY too much - anyone who's spoken to me knows I can conjure up hurricanes of English language :D), so I try to ease the person in before I start to type more and more but I make sure that increase is gradual so people can get used to me talking that way without putting them off completely where they're all like "TL;DR mate, see ya!" (I wouldn't be surprised if people have already tbh). But even though I do type a lot, I try my best to keep the conversation interesting by allowing myself and other person (If they like talking to me that is) to bring up new topics naturally and this can range from life stuff, geek stuff and whatever comes to mind for us rather than just "Wuts ur favroot animoo?". I almost never bring that kind of stuff up unless we're actively talking about our hobbies or anime in general. I like to try and create a natural flow in an ongoing conversation over the course of days, weeks or even months as we find all kinds of new things to talk about and get to know each other as people in a gradual but consistent manner. Some people don't appreciate that way of doing things but it's fine because I just stick to people who do like and appreciate talking to me. The only downside to that is that I always have messages that need replying to all the time so I try to cycle through the messages and reply to people one at a time (I really apologise to my friends if your waiting on my replies, that and life bullshit is literally the reason why ;-;) so with me liking to talk a ton and hating the idea of keeping people waiting, I try to reply to messages as much as possible. But yeah the place is a sausagefest and it's full of socially awkward people who struggle to create a compelling conversation but there are plenty of really awesome people who I love talking to given I have the time to do so. It's a shame you've ran into these problems, I'm sure there are plenty other women who gave up instantly because of this but I'm sure there are plenty who can endure this nonsense too - it really just depends on the person. But I think it's a good thing that you want to help out current and newer female members - I think forming a strong sisterhood can go a long way for a lot of female users on the site knowing they have other girls watching their back and helping them out, especially when it comes to the more desperate individuals. Being a dating site and all, anything can happen here - there are people looking for that one special person and I think that's fair enough but there are people who are here just to meet new friends and geek out with other people about anime, manga and what other stuff us nerds like to talk about and that's cool too. But I feel it's a bad idea to talk to someone for the first time with the only intention of getting together and I'm sure that didn't go well for a lot of people here - that's why I tempered my expectations down a good bit from the very moment I first came to this site; I've had tons of fun just talking to people so I can get to know them as people and while there are some people who I don't gel with, I've made some cool friends here and that's simply because I went with the flow so whatever happens, happens. I've dated an awesome girl on here before and it was great while it lasted despite the fact it ended weirdly so of course I would like to get together with someone but I feel it's much, much better to be passive about that desire when you're on MaiOtaku because chances are you'll meet a lot of really cool friends before you surprisingly find the right person without actively looking for them. I just think a more relaxed approach is by far the best option when it comes to this site. Holy shit, I wrote the nerd bible. :D And finished after OP left - shame to see another person go :/