Should i enter one of my stories in a contest?

I'm not sure but if ya want to see the story I'll post it a little later. It's my most favorite one that i have written so far, and i can't stop thinking about it. (•°~°•) i don't know what to dooo

Hey, you gotta be in it to win it; go for it I say. I'm no editor or anything, but I'll certainly give you some feedback if you throw it up here.

Your story certainly starts off strong enough, though towards the end it does lose a fair bit of it's strength. The ending just needs a little something extra to seal the deal. I don't have any real heavy nitpicks to say, if I would make some changes they would be stylistic changes. Couple of examples: The line about the hospital's appearance. "The place was insanely white, as if their favorite thing to do was to bleach everything", why not replace insanely with painfully? It sounds a bit more natural. I also want to know more about Hannah's friends; as it stands, they feel less like characters, and more like things meant to move the plot along. What do they look like? Do they have any quirks that you think would make them more interesting as characters? Final nitpick, the forest bit. It felt like you were speeding through to get the story done; the forest lacks any sort of descriptors save for being labeled as "very green". Even if Hannah is rushing through the area, there's all sorts of things to take notice of. How dark out is it? How tall are the trees? What type of sounds does she hear? Are there bugs flying around her face? That type of detail can really help in the long run. Hopefully my input helps you out a lil' bit. Keep at it!

Yeah, thanks, but i have changed my mind on the whole contest thing. I have decided to do more with the story like you said and make it into a story. I think it would be great, although I'm horrible drawer i think i can find someone

I agree wil melon on the critique. I'd like to add that when you are describing the hospital room keep in mind how often you are using the word "white". I think there are more opportunities to trim some of the fat around that paragraph and make it read smoother. The writing itself for the most part is really engaging. I think the biggest issue you face with this story is scope. As it is right now, the 'getting home' ending doesn't really seem like an ending. What will the grandpa think? Will he try to take her back? Are these friend's supernatural beings that actually helped her escape or are they fantasies? Because not much is done with the interactions with the friends to integrate them into the story, it feels like the story is more part of a chapter of a novel than a contained short story.