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how to get rid of trust issues inside a relationship

hadesus
Getting rid of paranoïa is indeed very difficult. For trust issues, i don't know why and can't explain it, it must be coded into genes cause litterarly any girl will at some times after the beggining of a relation, consider the fact that her partner is maybe cheating on her. Sames happen for men as well. And some girls and mens don't care but i take those as an exception. Getting paranoïd about being cheated on is legit, and not really a problem if it's not excessive. Doubt is one of the pillar of human consciousness, and no one will ever treat you badly if you are doubtful of your BF. The only 2 Problem it could make are: 1-Being so paranoïd that you will start to hurt you by neglegting yourself. Being centered on him will not let you live if you think to often on the doubt that lives in you. It might, at a severe state, neglect yourself so you'l probably either want to broke or start becoming a stalker (and while it's cute when it's in anime, it's creeps out every women or men in real life) 2-Your BF will break out because he will feel restrained, or start to make mistakes in your couple because he will being paranoïd about not making anything that augment your doubt. In summary, just work on being less invasive about your BF, and times to times if your doubtful, just explain him. In any case, a good cheater will lie so efficiently you'l never know, thats why it's hard to find a good and nice guy in one shot. There is tons of guys whom you can have a relation with on internet, and on long distance, you just have to find the good one and keep him till you get him ^^. Good luck!
roseblue
First off, I assume you've been through situations in which you were cheated on Lez. I also assume, you've been through plenty long distance relationships. It can be hard to let go of past feelings, and lingering strings from past relationships. It's best to have face to face direct contact with your partner, like skype. That will keep things more Organic. For your end of the deal, you're just gonna have to work on being poised and not being seemingly judging of your partner.
enerezu
It really does drives me crazy and insane whenever i argue with him... i'm not myself whenever there's a fight and not even snickers can bring me back... i often forget about my well being too... my friends said its not healthy for me to stick around with this kind of relationship anymore but i don't wanna let go... i really wish i was a better person and not be this way
enerezu
@Bluerose i dunno if i got cheated before and nope i dont have a lot of experience in long distance or even in dating... i always mess up that's why i often suffocate the person i'm dating with
yaasshat
...Organic? Try meeting a person NEAR you. Being distant is never a good thing, literal or otherwise. For some, it work's. For the majority, it fails unless you plan on it being serious and actually going beyond a screen. All you can do is either believe him or not in this case.Talk with him rather than making a public thread.
enerezu
I was just asking for advice im sorry
yaasshat
And advice was given, take it or leave it.
verucassault
I have trust issues as well so I know where you are coming from. I don't have all the answers, but it doesn't hurt to assess the situation and ask yourself if you would feel differently if it were someone else, perhaps, an ex in the past? I just get gut feelings that typically don't fail me, so if that's what you are going on it might help to sit down and write out the reasons why you feel the way you do, if there's anything specific he's doing or not doing that makes you feel this way or if there's certain things that could be done to put your mind at ease. If he is willing to work with you on that, then I would say it's worth keeping the relationship going. If it just starts another fight, maybe you should consider ending it before it gets worse. Sorry I couldn't be of more help but I felt like I would throw in my 2 cents so you aren't left hanging with Yass' pleasantries. LOL
saberwing
Well....I'm one of those hedgehog type of people that try their best to stay away from everyone, and lash out at anyone who gets too close. So yeah I do have trust issues, even though love is not the source of them. But that's a story for another day. Distance can no doubt get you into some serious shit in terms of your mental health, and can even lead to suicidal thoughts sometimes (I really really hope that's not your case). I don't know your story, but my advice would be to keep your cool no matter what. I know that's easy to say, but the moment you give in is the moment you lose...believe me I know... First of all...ask yourself if it's really worth it. Not only in a logical way, but listen to what your heart says as well. People can do crazy stuff and achieve impossible when it comes to love, so ask yourself...do you really love him? Or does this all come from the fear of being alone? I know it sounds a little bit harsh, and I'm sorry about that. If you truly love somebody, you should loosen your grasp around them and let them breathe. However....if that person hurt you on purpose and keeps doing so....then you have to sever the ties immediately, it will destroy you and leave nothing more than an empty bitter shell of the person you once were. Love is a complicated thing, and a double edged sword at that......so please be careful....
hadesus
Hmm, it seems like the original creator of this Topic has erased is first comment. Do we have to close it or erase this topic or did someone still need help with this thread?
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