dogs

this is an original story i came up with i hope you enjoy it :3 "the world is cruel and unforgiving" i thought to myself. :what did i ever do to deserve this? was i some sort of deviant in the past life? was i an evil person?" i fished my shoes out of the school fountain, they were soaking wet "thats great" i said out loud as i headed inside. i held the shoes out as i walked...they were dripping wet. suddenly 2 boys approached me. one was dull looking and stone faced with curly dark black hair, the other was a dirty blonde pretty boy with a hair band in his hair holding it back. "yo sora" said the blonde one " i see you found your shoes...i decided to wash them out for you" he laughed "i caught hell after the last prank i did, the people in the lockers next to yours complained about the smell." he nudged his friend "so rinta here gave me an even better idea that was waaaaaay better than putting dog food in your shoes" he pats my head and gives me an evil grin http://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20141123194653/villains/images/e/e2/IsaacEvilGrin.png "so i left a gift for you instead i hope you like it~" he walked past me bumping me out of the way the other followed. i stood there for a second and walked in the other direction toward the lockers. i pulled the handle for the locker and slowly tried to open it. out spilled a bunch of dog food cans, which you could hear clattering as the fell to the ground. i ignored it and placed my dry shoes in the locker and put on the wet ones. as i walked to my class you could hear the splooshing of my shoes which were drenched from the water, i sat down in my normal seat and stared a the profanity and other random messages that were written on my desk. "go die" "your nothing but a dog" all the messages written on there i heard on a daily basis, i just ignored it and put my head on the desk and stared out the window at the sky. if you havent noticed. i was being bullied pretty much the entire school is in on it. the teachers turn a blind eye to it and let it just happen. "who cares anyway?" thats pretty much what i thought about this whole situation...no one really even cares about me being bullied. they just let it happen, day after day i go through the same thing. the bell rings and i just get up and walk off retaining none of what the teacher said. instead i was mentally preparing myself for the hell that was to come. i live in a small apartment with my mom and her husband...my dad was a cheating bastard and left my mom for his mistress. it crushed her, but eventually she was able to move on and find someone else....me on he other hand was left to deal with the aftermath. i open the house door only to walk into a hard fist to the face from my stepdad. he reeks of alcohol and sweat."you fucking piece of shit" he yelled at me "what did i tell you about showing your ugly face around here? it kills my mood seeing you every afternoon" he stumbles off "damn i was in a good mood too" he lights a cigarette and i get up and head inside closing the door behind me and stood there. he went inside the fridge "that tight mom of yours nearly wore me out, that was the best sex i ever had" he grabs the carton of milk and drinks out of it "ahhhhh" he sighed with relief as he put the milk back the walked over to me and handed me some change "here you little fucker, take this and leave...your mom doesnt want to see you today she says that god ugly face of yours resembles your dad" he laughed "seeing it must've made her sick" he spat at the ground in front of me "dont come back here again or i'll fuck you up you hear?" he pushes me out and slams the door in my face. tears start to roll down my cheek and i get up and wipe them off scuffling off to the side away from the apartment. the change he gave me wasnt enough to buy anything i kept on walking and walking it soon began to turn dark and i felt tired...my stomach growled and i started to feel pain from not having a decent meal for days. i couldn't help but cry "why why WHY!!!!? damn it why do i have to go through this? I've done nothing wrong. I've been abused, bullied and now disowned?" it started to become more evident to me that nothing was ever going to change. i started to get dizzy so leaned up against the wall. my knees gave out and i dropped to my knees. then it started snowing. i blankly stared at the snowfall. i could feel my fingers freezing from how cold it was outside. i just sat there, the life had completely drained from my eyes let me know what you thought

oh haha thanks...are you sure its good? it wasnt rushed right? i mean it hasnt reached to the point where it starts the survival part im sort of building up to it

calm down it was great http://38.media.tumblr.com/0c98079616fad760890988aedd533fcb/tumblr_inline_mopjlaptuy1qz4rgp.gif

I really liked it. I could tell you put some thought into what a victim of bullying feels. You have good descriptions, but I think the introduction to your main character should include what he looks like. This was a great start, and I can't wait for part 2.

https://media3.giphy.com/media/2chXIO7ejflF6/200_s.gif I'm here to judge you and make your kokoro rip apart that even Pom will die from the harsh criticism. The story was interesting and I'm curious if this could get some sudden turn of event and lead to a new start. However, the punctuation, misspellings and lack of capitalisation gives a bit lagging sense or too fast to catch what was going on. Some description could be fixed or changed since some were unnecessary and repetitive. The form of writing is nice but keep the grammar as important and beat as your story itself. Cheers, Maya

@Maya I'm waiting for the day that Panda listens to all your criticism and edits the story and your post will come across as idiotic hateful speech XD

@sanfi probs never XD i didnt put 100% into this story tbh if i had the story would have progressed more than it has. Thats why the lack of punctuation and incorrect spelling is there. Its more of a story for fun that a serious story