Long Distance Relationship Advice

we were reading each others zodiac last night when suddenly i came across a trait of her which said ''good luck lying or holding information from her'' i bursted out laughing because we both know its so her and she joined me in my laughter later on but not as much involved as i was. After i was done laughing i apologised saying '' sorry that was retarded'' and right after that the call dropped. she calls me back right away and asks '' what's retarded ?'' i said me, then shes like okay, but what about the zodiac ? i said its so like you. then shes back at me again so what's retarded again ? (she literally picks fights with me sometimes like this, where whatever i say has no value, and we've dated for 4 months so none of us has done something really horrible that one shouldnt believe the other. i clearly saw what was happening and i sticked to the truth since i did call my laughing was retarded(at 8. am in the morning, we did stay up all night).my explanation had no value and she went to bed shortly as i was reading. i stopped and went to bed myself. if i had fallen asleep, i wouldve been in trouble. i'm sure you can see where this is going. she was acting angry still this morning. i still did my very best to lighten her mood and we were all playing and i said say sorry, shes like what for, i said last night. she said im not gonna say sorry for you hurting my feelings.i again explained i made that comment on myself. she got dead serious and said drop it. i dont care. i really love this girl and ive apologised for so many dumb things and shes angered me and then i had to go to her because she literally threatens to break up. as dumb as it sounds, shes my first love. i really want this to change where she becomes stone cold to me. but over time nothing has changed. ive told her a to z about my life and she still keeps secrets i tell her about my mistakes and she gets fking mad but she rather keep hers. i know itll take her time since she has dated 5-6 men in the past but she told me im her first love id really like some help please. be open of what you think and not sugar coat anything for me. i wanna make this work so bad but dumb shit like ruins it for a bit and i always have to apologise.

OK @OP remember you asked for it raw and salty I am not responsible for whatever happens. I might need another screen for this one. TLDR: Go read a book called 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' and cultivate your masculinity because you have little beyond the flesh. I am not intending to insult but shake up perhaps in the hope it jars something loose so you can grow so do not take it too personally bro. I am going to preface I have had about a dozen or so LTRs longest being a year and they were all bittersweet memories but not all bad. I have had many more in person relationships. I do not discourage LTRs but they are not the best for me I have found so far. You may find they can be unproductive when they are romantic relations as the call of our biology will eventually be a force to draw you closer or tear you apart, that is just the gamble you have to take on your own choice. Romantically for me if it is not going to culminate into an in person relationship it is a waste of time as I require a present lover. I am not alone in this, most men and women are the same even if they are ashamed to admit it. It's natures fault accept it and move on to things you can change but learn from human nature so you are not controlled by it and self master it. LTRs can for some become a replacement for an in person relationship for some when they do not have intimate relations with anyone around them at the time. Some call this an emotional tampon or crutch. You have not given much history or parameters of your LTR so I will stop trying to inject doubt (not intended) but statistically first love's wont last because it's you first love and you have not found yourself yet to know who you are and what you really want. Love is a drug literally in your head and you are not thinking clear and blinded by bonding hormones possibly. In person this is the same. Stop apologizing and cataloging your flaws to her all the time. She is well aware of them hence her mood. She may feel robbed thinking she had a good guy for her needs and is unsure now. She said drop it than drop it she is testing you and likely not aware of it herself. Running to her at the drop of a breakup threat is also displaying neediness and might as well be a dog whistle. A person has no power in a relationship if they are unwilling to walk away from one, women usually do not hesitate to exercise that power. Breakup at 6 in bed with BF#8 by 10pm if they choose. They have abundance of choice because men have to pursue them and prove themselves first to get with them usually. You will just be bad BF #7 but not as cool as Scott Pilgrim. You are overtly and subconsciously telling her you are not competent or confident with yourself. Save your fears and doubts for friends. As soon as she calculates you are below her in character value and durability she will fall out of love and move on sometimes in the blink of an eye. She is not sharing herself with you because she likely no longer trusts you with her secrets and intimate feelings because you appear to be having trouble managing you own. A man is a mountain that friends, family, and loved ones may need to lean on from time to time. They take shelter in your foothills for it is defended by your strength watching their backs so they feel safe and sure of the ground beneath their feet. If you do not appear to be able to do that for yourself and others you are of no value to them if they have to constantly prop you up instead. Few in this world will love a man that much, maybe their mother for a time. You also claim to have told your whole 20 year life story in 4 months of dating. I thought I wrote wall texts. You can't do that or there is noting left to learn; you are not a mystery to her anymore which is an alluring quality many women desire in men. She likely wants to explore not download you. She knows your life story and how not confident you are and all your flaws. She knows you can be summoned like a pokemon too which she will not respect you for. Relationships need to build in intimacy and discovery gradually or it gets boring. She has to know you are durable, reliable, and can walk away anytime but you desire her so you wont until that changes. Men like to feel needed too but women often need to feel desired and feel that desire not in words but actions as you go along in the relationship or she falls out of love and just accidentally falls into bed with someone that 'made her feel alive and desirable' All is not lost man. You will learn to navigate relationships with experience and a good attitude. You are a human being and worthy to love and be loved but never entitled to it. Humans have needs and it is their personal responsibility to see to them on their own. It is also theirs to never allow harm or abuse to be placed upon them unchallenged or unpunished. Read the book I suggested up top if you are a frustrated man in relationships be it friends, family, or lovers. It has nothing to do with being mean or treating others poorly. It is about how to see your value, respect it, and get others to see it and naturally respect it by being genuine and honest and setting firm boundaries without fear. Good luck man. edits for mass typos lol....

I can't maintain a long-term long distance relationship. I run out of stuff to talk about and the girl gets annoyed and bored and loses interest. I need someone in person to share physical experiences with.

You've apologized so much that I was half expecting an apology at the end of your post for writing it. You might want to start there. I know it's respectful but you have to recognize when you should do it. And why too, the reason behind it is very important. Apologizing just because you love the girl, you want to make everything right and you want to make her feel good is NOT a good reason to do it over and over again for every little thing. Also, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that no two people who are invested in a relationship and love each other act like this. Which suggests your relationship with her is not based on love, which is often the case in long distance relationships. Whether it's emotional comfort, bragging rights or whatever, find out what it is and you'll be one step closer to understand why she doesn't respond to it sometimes. I could write a whole lot more based on what I read but it could be a few isolated incidents, even though you mention this happening often. I'll give you the benefit of doubt since you know a lot more details about the relationship than I do.

I do both physical and long distance relationships. Its a hard thing to do long distance because no physical contact can be made. But it can happen when two people who really wanna meet work together to meet and possibly have a future. Distance is just a number.

Agree with BubbleSparkle - Its not the easiest thing in life to do long distance relationships, but for those out there that feel like they met their soulmate... long distance is just another hurdle to jump over in the attempt to reach the finishing line. Certain things help a lot in these types of relationships, communication being the key to a lasting relationship or one that will stagnate early and falter. All in all, long distance can only go sooo far, until a physical meeting is needed or plans are made to spend time with one another. So in other words... Long distance up till a point is very viable, but fails if the distance persists in the relationship. In any relationship its about getting closer with your partner, same goes for this.

Keeping secrets is like a slow acting poison to a relationship. I've had an LDR with veru for a bit longer than you now, about 5 months. We already know eachother's deepest, darkest secrets. We feel comfortable exposing eachother's secrets. Yes, we have fought. Sometimes I've been stubborn and not backed down, and sometimes I've admitted that I was wrong. So has she. We don't hide things from eachther. It's a give and take. When your girlfriend holds secrets, the power in the relationship shifts in her favor. Sounds to me like you're doing a lot of giving in the relationship and not a lot of taking. You're still a kid that hasn't been through a lot of relationships and she has you wrapped around her finger. Tell her to cut the bullshit out or you're moving on. You have two choices here. You can keep licking her feet until she loses interest in you completely, or you can shake things up a bit. Either way it looks like you have to take charge and be willing to abandon the relationship. She doesn't sound all that great to me. You're first love is rarely your best. If you don't realize this now, you will eventually. Trust me. If you ever engage in an LDR you better be sure that person is worth the trouble.