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bf wants to reenlist.

My bf wants to reenlist in the marines. I asked him to wait till I finish school. His response was " I wouldn't leave you high and dry. I'd make sure you were taken care of, as long as you're with me." This statement has me wondering where he thinks our relationship is at now, or where it is going... any ideas? I have 2 boys (6 & 4) who like him. We have known each other for 9 years, dating since July 11. And he knows how kinky, and sexually active I am.
Nov 10, 15 at 1:22pm
Yeah, ask him. That may be a smart ass response, but really there's nothing more about you two that anyone here knows to be able to make an assumption about what he thinks. Tell him about your concerns and ask him where he thinks you two are at and where he hopes to go.
Nov 10, 15 at 3:38pm
Honestly, you guys have been in an actual relationship for what, 3 or 4 months now? That's not a super long time in the grand scheme of things even if you've known him for 9 actual years. Had the relationship actually been nine years and he was the father of your kids, that's a bit of a different story. To me it sounds like he wants a relationship with you, but you guys are only at the point of really feeling it out and seeing where it could potentially go. If he's still wanting to run off and re-enlist in the military, to me he sees you more as a gf right now than any sort of potential wife/life partner, and I think you really need to talk with him and understand where both of your feelings for each other are. How much longer of school do you have? If it's just another semester or so, I don't think it's the end of the world to wait for you to finish. But if you're still a few years away from graduation, then yeah, that might be awhile to expect him to wait. To me him saying more along the lines of "I'll take care of you as long as your with me" is two folded. He wants a relationship with you, but it's also leaving him an out as allowing him to break up with you and do what he wants since he's not the father of your children and has no long term commitment and expectations in your relationship, at least as this juncture. That's why I think you two really need to sit down and talk and see where you want your relationship to go, and what you expect out of it and each other.
If I understand correctly - your boyfriend wants to go back to the Marines - you don't want him to until you finish school - understandable. What he said mystifies me, but I think he means that he's worried about being able to provide for you, I mean, does he have a job and does he like it etc? Men generally see their female partners as needing to be taken care of and provided for. In my case, my girlfriend makes three times what I do - all the same, we live within my means in case she loses her job, we can get by on my income if needed. I think he's worried about providing for you - it sounds like he doesn't want you to be without money, and he feels if he's back in the Marines he can better provide? I dunno, he was vague with his wording. He needs to clarify, for sure.
Nov 17, 15 at 12:29pm
As a marine, who is prior service I think I can answer this with ease. I was in a relationship where I enlisted. We genuinely care for the person we are with as enlisted. When he meant by taking care of your needs he means BAH (Basic housing allowance.) There is also bonuses for re-enlisting which probably are first come first serve basis. He knows you have a bit before you have to look for a job and the financial aid stops, basic housing and our pay goes up. (though this is when the two are married.) but still, i'm sure he is trying to hint to something long term. Yes you might have just been friends for 8 years but do not rule out that he might have and still cared for you as a friend and probably knows your struggles and pains as a single mother of two kids while you struggle with school. You are the prime determinant of where this relationship might lead. The Marines have a motto and that's "Always faithful" I myself was faithful to my girlfriend (now ex) throughout my entire time in. Sure there was times where I was tempted to cheat, but I always called her and told her everything. That didn't really help because when I got back she dumped me this year on valentines day when I was on duty in the reserves because I had joined a reserve unit which would give me extra money for college. Damn glad I did because that money is helping me out for school. My point is, i'd say let him do it, and I am pretty sure the reason why he wants to go as soon as possible because DEPing in is a long process, it took me 6-8 months to get in because the waiting lists were long. I was lucky not to wait the full year because my staff sergeant at the time told me there was an opening and if I wanted to leave early. Also how old is he because marines have an age limit that could be another factor. It's very important that as someone whose dating a marine or any enlisted personnel should know that there are sacrifices and also there are reasons for everything. Learn everything there is to know about the branch of service, that might clear some headaches. If you need any more help or advice you can message me, or I can answer more questions here.
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