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How to Cope With Being Single?

darkxangel
@xypho Obviously she is mature enough!
oxshykittenxo
I just try to keep myself occupied with work, school and playing a lot of video games/watching anime and hanging out with friends. I use to be reliant on being with someone because I'm afraid of being alone, but I've learned that it's best to just wait until the right person comes along. Due to my past relationships being extremely abusive in one way or another. I'm focusing on myself, becoming a better person, working on my goals, getting my degrees, saving money for a house and the things I want (I never had money for myself when I was with someone) it's not entirely a bad thing to be single. The only bummer is not being able to do the things you enjoy with someone else. Right now I binge watch series with my cat. Lol.
desu
I was going to joke and say 'you use your hand', but then I read the thread and decided to actually read a bit more. Like everyone else said, there's no sense changing yourself just to try to attract an SO. At the same time, there's nothing wrong with wanting to IMPROVE yourself -- change and improvement are not necessarily the same thing in this context. Stay true to who you are, but at the same time, be the best you that you can be. And if you improve to that point and you can be proud of yourself but you still find yourself single, at least you know you've done everything you can on your end, and that you just haven't met that special someone yet. (:
stickmichael
Yoga and meditation is what got me through my nasty divorce and being alone after getting so used to someone else always being there. So that would be my suggestion to you. It works very well.
reaeryn
I'm not single, but I can actually relate to this even now. I know this isn't really what you were asking for but...these are the things I WISH I would have done when I was single: First and foremost, I wish I would have learned to truly love myself. Not this "I like myself somedays" like I do now, but truly cherish myself. To not be so damn hard on myself and tell myself I'm not good enough. To see all the progress I've made and smile, saying 'it may not be perfect, but I'm father along than I was yesterday.' To see the beauty in who I am and what I love to do, not to wait for someone else to says that to me. To be perfectly content with who I am. Secondly, I wish I would have made more friends. Real friends. Whether they were in real life or online. Ones I could be completely myself around. Thirdly, I wish I would have put more time into the things I enjoy to do. For example (for me), put more time in studying Japanese or work on drawing some more or spend more time outside watching the seasons change. Fourthly, I wish I would have spent less time wanting a significant other. Because now, even though I'm in a relationship, about 50 to 60 percent of the time I'm talking with them, I feel miserable. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like him. But... half of the time, I question whether we're actually together or if we're brother and sister-like.
xypho
Oct 23, 15 at 4:21pm
This account has been suspended.
timeenforceranubis
I think this needs to be said: I don't believe that "loving oneself" and getting depressed about being lonely are mutually-exclusive. It's really easy to say "You just gotta love yourself first!" but that doesn't do much to stave off loneliness. I think it's entirely possible for someone who has a good deal of self-esteem, takes care of themselves, and does right by themselves to simply not have any luck in relationships. Loneliness isn't something that just happens to people who don't love themselves. In fact, I'd assert that the kind of self-questioning behaviour that many people fall into when they find themselves unlucky in the dating world could actually bring someone from a self-loving frame into a self-loathing frame. Also, when people talk about the advantages of being single, I think that's off-base too, because when being single is causing you crippling loneliness, you can't just bring yourself to think about how advantageous a position you're in because you're not subject to this or that arbitrary restriction that some people in relationships are subject to. There are a lot of mental dynamics at play with the condition of being single and lonely that people ignore in a platitudinous attempt to try and make single-and-lonely feel better. Being single and lonely is more than just "I wish I had a girlfriend/boyfriend." It's "I wish I didn't feel like everyone's 2nd priority," and "I wish I wouldn't feel a twinge of jealousy every time I saw a happy couple," among other things. So, consider that. I mean, it feels good to say "You need to love yourself!" or "Hey, being in a relationship isn't all it's cracked up to be!" but that doesn't really help the situation all that much.
halfbakedhikki
Immerse myself in video games, manga, anime and drugs~ :D Been working fine for the past 12 years or so.
namaniiamani
I don't really think about it. Like a nobody from Kingdom Hearts.
asterisk
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