The long goodbye

I can remember seeing her sprawled out on the ground, and all I could feel was anger. Anger at everything, but nothing. My worst fear had come to life before my eyes, like a nightmare that teases you into a false sense of comfort only to rip it away from you in the end. I was beside myself. Was it me that was calling out her name, asking if she was alright? I felt like I was watching a scene in a movie play out before me. The person hunched over shaking his best friend wasn't me. Just some actor. She was just dizzy, she told me. She even laughed about it. Told me everything was fine. We had just celebrated her condition going into remission a week ago. By time the ambulance had arrived, she was more responsive than I was. The ambulance lights. The hospital. She had to choose between more rounds of painful chemo in exchange for a year or two, or to just live out the next 3 weeks in peace. I wanted her to suffer. I needed her to suffer so I could go to sleep at night. I needed her to suffer so I can breathe. She's tired of fighting, so what kind of friend would I be if I forced her to live? "Forget me" she told me. For someone who couldn't stand to see others in pain, that was the only words of advice she had for me. I know a fake smile when I see one. The same crowd of family and friends at the celebration a couple of weeks earlier was also at the funeral. Anger, again, at nothing in particular. Another part of me has changed, although I don't know what. It's all downhill from here. Some of us just reach the bottom first.

Thanks for reading, sunflower! I just needed to vent some sadness, and it's been a while since I written anything meaningful. As much as I wanted there to be some kind of good ending, the purpose of the story is that sometimes things are just out of your control, and you have to find the strength in yourself to move on.

Thanks for the compliment ^_^ http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kRysTo6iGkw/TZ9CQ7tipPI/AAAAAAAAAoY/K8GjhdglF2M/s1600/Anime_Hug_by_heximer13.jpg I was just doing some freestyle writing, so when I went back and read it wow was it sad. I look forward to you reading anything I write in the future. It's probably going to be horror themed in anticipation of Halloween.

Thanks, guys. I could try and write a happy one, but those are the most difficult to write correctly. I might give it a shot before Holloween rolls in if the mood strikes me.

Yea U can do it