The " Nice guy" and "Friendzone"

While I can agree with some of your points inexpensitivity, I think you just opened a whole new can of worms that any guy will get crucified if he responds to Lol.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying anyone's obligated to explain why they chose to reject anyone else, nor am I saying that any given guy is *entitled* to an explanation about why he was rejected. "No" is indeed a complete sentence, and if a woman doesn't want to explain why she rejected a guy, that's cool and the Gang. What I'm saying, however, is that if she chooses to give an explanation, "you're too nice" doesn't get anyone anywhere. It's an empty platitude. It's saying, "oh, you're such a good person, you're *too* good a person. I don't deserve someone so *nice.*" Nothing actionable, nothing to help the guy improve. As far as the guy's concerned, he failed and doesn't know why and, as a result, he has nothing to go on as to how to improve himself and, by the time the next girl he wants to date comes around, he has not grown and the cycle is likely to repeat itself.

i feel like a lot of the times women are pressured into giving explanations so thats why they would say "you're too nice" as a quick get away, but yeah i agree with you that if the man was going to use that as feedback, it would be extremely confusing for him. a better quick explanation like "you're not my type" would probably have been the better excuse to use.

While I don't necessarily agree with pressuring people into things, I can empathize with a guy thinking he had a relationship, finding out he didn't even have a chance at said relationship, and wanting to know what went wrong why that didn't pan out. I think being disappointed about that is reasonable, and I also think it's reasonable to want to know how to prevent it from happening with the next girl (Just as I think it's reasonable to not want to explain why.). "You're not my type" works perfectly though, both as a quick way to end the conversation and as a more truthful assessment of the guy. Chances are, he really *isn't* her type, so at the absolute least, she isn't lying to him like she would be with "you're too nice."

Dont get butt hurt if you're rejected. Improve on yourself, theres literally plenty of girls out there to pick from. Lol those guys that are super nice and do anything for a girl. In my group of friends we call them the White Knights. Its sad, and most of the time girls take advantage of you. Don't put them on a pedestal. Girls have told me they hate it and you should never treat someone as if they're better than you are. Eventually they will believe they are and treat you like a lesser person. You are equal. If you think you deserve to be with someone because you're nice to them then you're a piece of shit. You deserve nothing. On the whole feedback matter. Its 50/50 to me. In some cases it would help and the guy would know what to improve on, in others the dude might not take the news very well and it'll worsen the situation for him.

It is natural to want to know 'why' but the answer is not always useful. What one finds unattractive the next person may desire. Ultimately they are just not interested and further investment in pursuing it is a waste of time and energy. Like kingjay said if you get rejected just keep moving along doing you own thing and be yourself. If you are wanting to benchmark you social value/skills it is better to do so among your peers or forums like these vs love interests. You will get better data to work with IMHO. No one is the same which is what we all have in common. inexpensitivity - I agree saying you are 'just not my type' is much more meaningful and sounds more sincere to me. There are people that do react badly when being rejected but that does not mean one party is a victim waiting to happen as it can go both ways. Jean Rivera - Agreed.

I agree with you, DarkuSchneider, but put it this way: The "why" isn't always useful, but not knowing why is *never* useful.