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"Need some space" equal breakup?

timmybugboy
Ive been in a commited relationship for over a year, and now she says that cause of some complication between us she says she wants to try some separation before getting back together, she even says to go out and date other people. Does that mean an instant break up? I'm very curious to know and a little unsettled.
emiri_skarai
Usually with girls it means she literally needs a break from you! (no offence) but it depends on the " complication" you mentioned and how bad it was :)
yaasshat
I would say so if you're seeing other people. Taking a break is fine and sometimes it gives you a breather so you can analys things, but dating around kind of defeats that. I'd try to discuss the issues and make it clear that seeing someone else during the break is still cheating. Until you break up, it's not over or ok to look around.
timmybugboy
The argument was whether we're in love or just lonely and just wanted each other cause we had that person. I think the whole date other people thing is suppose to determine if we actually would see love in other people or would be with them cause we were lonely.I don't know though, I'm willing to give it a shot, just seem's to upsetting.
zak32
Feb 17, 15 at 6:19pm
I'd say the best idea would be to have a break, and see how everything goes. Yeah you could end up breaking up all together, but you could also end up realising that actually you really do want to be together, and everything will be fine. I went on a "break" once, and it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, but I did learn a lot about myself and about her, and I hoped to have an even better relationship with her if we got back together, but we didn't in the end. I don't regret it though, I might have never realised what I did about myself if that break never happened. So the best for you is to probably just go with it, it's gona suck, that's for sure but in the end it might turn out perfectly for you and her, isn't it worth doing it even for a tiny chance that you may be able to stay together? You can only HOPE for the best, but EXPECT the worst. That way you're prepared.
neet_one
sure don't sound good.
nikita_13
Sounds like she's trying to get out of the relationship IMO and looking for an easy way to transition into another one, which her questioning if the relationship was out of love or convenience may have initiated her looking for someone else. Whatever happens, just be ready to cut ties and walk away.
timmybugboy
Ive been ready, ive mentally prepared myself, but the only reason I don't think it was an easy way out of an relationship cause she gave me the final answer on it, she brought it up and I gave the yes.
darkschneider
Don't know the people and situation enough but it's dicey. It sounds like there is a measurable amount of doubt on both sides if you said yes. As mentioned it could turn out to be the stress that draws you closer, but be prepared for it to possibly drive you apart. Taking a closed relationship open is a gamble. It is never easy to wonder if you are enough, or to tell someone they might not be. I can tell you from experiences in relationship/pre marriage counseling this question will come up and inject doubt sometimes in each other. It can sometimes be looked as as a test to some. Please understand this is not an attack or to be mean, I am an objective scientist as much as I can ;P In life, even in deep love, you will meet individuals that are very attractive or will be very attracted to you without warning. Charismatic people and chemistry happens more than once in your life. If you are mature and secure about your feelings for your partner you will easily move past/dismiss these attractions and not need space. Some people are unprepared when they suddenly become attracted to someone that is not their partner and fail to understand it, and instead start to doubt their commitments. There are those that try to convince the world only males have this problem but is very untrue when you study the failings in modern relationships. Everyone must face this event and deals with it easier or harder than others. Some people are genuinely polyamorous instead of hedonistic too but still ill-equipped to handle that without experience. I can only say weigh your feelings carefully and make them known. If they are not really reciprocated then it might not be the right partner for you unless you are OK with open relationships. It's common to hear people grow and change over time. While that is somewhat true, the growth and change is often just becoming more focused but still has the same underlying values sometimes. What I wanted and valued over the years changed some but still originated from the spirit of my core values. Good luck here is a helmet.
amrodcalanor
Is a break from the relationship a break up? No But seeing other people while on breal complicates the hell out of it. I wouldnt do it, I'd just dump her and get it over with. But then Im probably a little more heartless. Try it out, see how it goes. But the fact that your relationship needs a break I'd say you should prepare yourself for whats most likely coming next. http://cosmouk.cdnds.net/cm/14/30/53d507f99a640_-_wewereonabreak.gif
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