Virgin Talk

elder, I won't argue that sexual compatibility is vital for a feasible, functioning, healthy relationship or marriage. The grey issue here is how vital? 80%? 30%? 55%? Every couple has their own barometer and standards. Sure, you could hypothetically conduct a national survey to get the statistical median/mean value (you may want to check out the Kinsey Institute since they do sexual studies surveys). Does being a virgin impair your relationship? Maybe. But generally couples who have opposite interests in bed or are not receptive to each other's wants and needs face strains in their relationships. Plus most of these couples already have inherent personality clashes and they play out in bed. Does being a Ron Jeremy help keep your partner loyal to you? If all it takes for a relationship to hold is sexual prowess for you, so be it. Not all share that philosophy though. Yes, nothing lasts forever. But if you commit to a relationship thinking it will resemble a Big Mac, never-changing in taste and quality no matter how long you place it in the open, of course you will move on. The demands and context of a relationship when you are in your 20s and a familial one are completely different. Not to mention, a person whom you are willing to spend the rest of your life with eternally isn't necessarily the "smartest", "prettiest", "most mature" etc. (the grass is always greener on the other side if you compare him/her with those qualities in mind); he/she is really the person who has been by your side, rain or shine, peace or war, the good, the bad and the ugly...and at the end of the day still appreciate and accept you as who you are, flaws and all.

Loyalty is great, but my attraction isn't so one-dimensional. And I've never said people should be porn stars. Sexual compatibility is one of the many keystones to a relationship. People who say otherwise are naive. That's all there is to it.

I just find it annoying the viewpoint that you either are either a virgin or a slut. Slut/whore/whatever is a derogatory term used way too often as a common insult for anybody. If you don't want to have sex than fine, if you do want to have sex, fine. If you want to wait all eternity for a mystical "the one" before you have sex, fine. I don't have to be massively in love to have sex, but I don't have sex with just anyone. I prefer to be in a relationship to have sex for a variety of practical reasons. Everyone is different.

I agree with Vampire_neko here. He's got a good idea of how it works. I'm just saying what I've observed in my daily life in order to share my knowledge. Take it at face value, and I'm sure it will benefit you.

Pssssssshhhjh. *sulks*

I'm a virgin but I'm not technically waiting til marriage. I've had 2 very long term relationships. Every time we were about to have sex something always happened, it was mad freaky. Like divine intervention. I mean every time! So it got to a point where we went without and were completely fine. Sex is sex as far as I'm concerned. Nothing sacred about it. Being a virgin isn't bad but it's not all peaches and cream either. I have a friend who likes casual sex and is enjoying it, she prefers no strings. Relationships aren't for everybody. And I have a friend who prefers marriage but she's dying to jump her bf's bones everyday lol. I prefer being in a nice long relationship. Not nessicarily engaged to the guy or even looking that far ahead. just having a very strong mutual physical (I'm not too picky about looks) and mental attraction. That's another reason I'm still a virgin. Not a lot of guys can mentally get on my playing field. <-- I hope that's pretty clear

On another note, I don't know why but seems like so many people these days are asexual, demisexual or pansexual. Never saw anybody ever use these words 10+ yrs ago. Past 5yrs and even more recently everyone's jumping on the a/demi/pan train. Is this a sudden evolution/change in people? Are people just opening up about because of learning new words? All I know is I'm fucking horny all the time since I was 12yrs old. But I don't fuck everyone because I don't want diseases/kids. And yes it's more special if you have sex with someone you have romantic feelings about. If their were no consequences and I could, I would probably fuck 3 times a day, more or less depending on my mood and how busy I was. It would make a better workout than going to the gym. BTW, I'm looking for a future workout partner (may have found one).