Virgin Talk

>I hope the woman I lose my virginity to will become my wife Just me talking, but I think that's a rather naive viewpoint. I'd rather already have lost it before being married. I don't quite know what I like. I've been in relationships myself, but never had penetrative sex, unless being the recipient of a blowjob counts. And no, I did not enjoy it. I don't really want to kiss someone who's had my dick in their mouth. Longest relationship was roughly half a year. We went on a series of dates (8, to be exact) whenever she was able to see me. Were we in love? Neither of us are really sure on that point, I've kept in contact with her as a friend. We didn't have sex, but we did a number of sexual things after the fourth date. Main reason we didn't have actual sex was because I was underage at the beginning of the relationship (17) while she was 21, and then when I turned 18 on the 6th date, it just progressed so slowly from there that by the 7th, she was already having thoughts about moving on. The straw that broke the camel's back was me quitting college due to my grades tanking. We didn't call each other girl/boyfriend, but we didn't see anyone else during that half-year. I'll be the first to say I fucked up the relationship, I was depressed, occupied with school and wasn't satisfying her. She actually offered me sex after the 3rd date, but again, I was 17 at the time and I didn't want to put her in a legal position. Alcohol was involved in our relationship too, so I was concious of that. That being said, I look forward to having sex. First time is gonna suck unless I get with a non-virgin. And yes, I sometimes wish I'd have had sex in the first time around in college.

Maybe naive but I agree with em. I want my first girl to be my one and only. I consider myself a one woman guy and should I ever commit to one it would be completely, and that includes waiting for her.

I don't get it. I don't hold marriage sacred, and I would even be willing to never marry if I couldn't get married the way I wanted. I'm totally fine with protected nonmarital and premarital sex. I'm not saying I necessarily want to have multiple partners, but I'd rather leave a good impression the first time with the woman I'm gonna spend the rest of my life with. Considering my parents divorced due to sexual incompatibility, I find this extremely important.

elder_reaper, I don't believe most people hold marriage sacred anymore, if they did divorce rates wouldn't be so high. My wanting to only be with one girl (and having me be their only guy) doesn't have much of anything to do with marriage. It's more to do with commitment and devotion. Think of it this way, you'd be offended if your girlfriend cheated on you right? well logically speaking what difference does it make if she didn't save herself for you anyway? You might say she broke your trust, but why would you trust her with something like that if you don't care how many men she's been with before dating her anyway? it's just be another drop in the bucket wouldn't it? see, people who don't care about virginity but then complain about being cheated on are what I don't get it. why does saying 'lets go out' suddenly make the act sacred? Of course on that note you could argue that sex in itself has no meaning outside of that which people put on it, but I choose to give it meaning in being an act meant to be shared only between you and the person you care the most about in this world. I believe that other than sex, there's nothing truly special we can share with other people that we don't already share with the world. it's one of the few things that's truly exclusive to our partner, and to do it with anyone takes away how special it is and cheapens it to the point of being a worthless gift. When two people are virgins and are committed to each other, they're sharing something special they can't get from anyone else. when two people with active sex lives get together, they're sharing something they've already gotten a dozen times before and might get a dozen more times. Your issues certainly seem reasonable though, but personally speaking the quality of sex just isn't a super high priority on my list. If they suck in bed then so be it, If I have to choose I rather be with someone I care for and love deeply over someone who's good in bed. Different people have different priorities though, so that much is understandable.

Yeah... my mother and father said sex wasn't a big part of their relationship, and yet I was conceived out of wedlock ( born after they married ) and my brother was a product of a broken condom. 8 months after his birth, my father cheated and they had a separation, then a divorce. Sex is important in a relationship, and all of the successful relationships I have observed, the partners usually have had lots of sex prior to understand what they want, and they consider sexual incompatibility as much as a deal breaker as other things. And why shouldn't we? I wouldn't date a woman who loved BDSM, because I psychologically hate that, and since polyamory isn't an option for me, why bother? You're free to go as you please. I just think you shouldn't let your own ego and opinions on it pitfall you and potentially wreck your psyche by going through a divorce. My father's going through his second divorce, and its affected him greatly. He picked up drinking after quitting for a decade, his hair has gone grey, and he fucking went back to Catholicism and anulled his original marriage to my mother, 16 years post-facto.

I'd disagree with this part neet: Think of it this way, you'd be offended if your girlfriend cheated on you right? well logically speaking what difference does it make if she didn't save herself for you anyway? You might say she broke your trust, but why would you trust her with something like that if you don't care how many men she's been with before dating her anyway? it's just be another drop in the bucket wouldn't it? see, people who don't care about virginity but then complain about being cheated on are what I don't get it. why does saying 'lets go out' suddenly make the act sacred? I mean, when you both go into a relationship it's an agreement that you care about each other. I don't think the hurt from being cheated on necessarily comes from the physical act, it's the emotional betrayal that hurts. It's like the person you love has just said 'You're not good enough, I don't love you.' It's the lack of consideration too; if a guy didn't want to be with me I'd rather he just say that and split up with me than secretly start seeing someone else.

Not a virgin. Just came here to make fun. jk. I actually wish I was still a virgin so I could wait until marriage. One of the worst decisions of my life, maybe because I'm slowly turning into a monk again.