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What can be done?

key17
Dec 21, 14 at 6:27pm
My good friend and roomate is in a difficult moment in his life. His gf from 3 years seems to have somewhat cheated on him, and, me being with him all the time, I could clearly see how much that has shaken him. I mean, the guy sacrificed a lot and worked his ass off to get money and make a possible future for themselves. He entered university and was about to finish his degree before finally flying over to Japan and start his life with her. But know, it looks like he's lost everything. His drive to study, his trust in her... thankfully he doesn't seem to have any more suicidal thoughts but still. When my gf passed away, I went through much of the same, so it's hard for me to see him like that, but I have no idea what to do. I feel as if getting involved will only worsen things, though. What are your thoughts, MO?
redhawk
Dec 21, 14 at 6:56pm
Question: was it only one time or multiple times that she cheated on him? Also what do you mean by somewhat? Did she or not? How was the relationship? from your pov [Key]. just need to know before giving my own thoughts on the matter.
key17
Dec 21, 14 at 7:20pm
I say somewhat, because it wasn't physical. His gf is in Japan, so they haven't meet each other in a long time, and apparently she became another guy's gf over the internet. The thing is that, even after she admitted it to him, she hasn't stopped contacted him in the same way. In her words, she needed someone else to relate to. This may seem like very little, but it's actually just the tip of the iceberg. To put it simply, she's done a lot of things for him to think her not trustworthy, as well as not being supportive lately. That's important, because he was about to get expelled from university. and... what's "from your pov [Key]"; don't get it.
monjachan
Dec 21, 14 at 8:01pm
Hmm.. seems like a tricky situation... ofcourse alot seems to have happened, but if the girl wasnt faithful to him.. I'd not say she's worth keeping... from another girls POV... you could try to get him out, or even hang out with him some more than usual..let him know that there are other possibilities... and that there are other girls out there.. even if this one wasnt right for him... if he keeps looking eventually he'll find them.. and his x will be nothing but a faint memory... Just let him know you will be there for him.. and try to get him involved in stuff as much as possible... he'll still have to study, he'll just have to find the stribe to do it for himself... getting money still isnt bad.. he could still keep a savings account.. and maybe next time.. if or when he finds somebody again.... then will those savings be wellspent.. or he could simply take a vacation and try to relax from it all.... His possibilities are infinite... but as his friend I'd say the best thing you can do is to let him know you're there and to keep treating him somewhat like before.... if he wants to talk and you offer, he will talk... if he's not saying anything after that.. then no need to bring it up... Just being there for him and giving him a hug will be helpful at this point...
redhawk
Dec 21, 14 at 8:01pm
Oh okay, I understand a bit more, well I can't really say I know how he feels, since I've never been in a relationship before, so I can't find the words I'm looking for to say. I'm sorry, I wish I could've helped more. I hope nothing bad happens to your friend, just keep an eye on him, all I can say is be a friend and take him to a bar [probably bad idea though] or anywhere, keep him active, play sports, video games, movies, just be his best pal at the moment. POV- Point of view [from your point of view Key]
zenryuji
Dec 21, 14 at 8:08pm
I feel his pain, my girl cheated on me too and the one before her. Wish I had a friend like Key looking out for me, then we maybe she wouldn't have got away with it. He's lucky to have you guys watching out for him TTT-TTT I only wish I could say the same for me.
jas
Dec 21, 14 at 11:35pm
All you can do is support him when he allows. Affirm any musings he has that life may be better now. Encourage any activity that gets him out of his dark hole - be that a 2 player game or bringing home pizza.
key17
Dec 22, 14 at 3:42am
Thanks for the help guys.
zenryuji
Dec 22, 14 at 9:18am
You're very welcome ~I bow politely~
key17
Dec 22, 14 at 9:29am
Quick Update: My friend decided to fly over to Japan, and try to fix things directly with her. I had to pay for the flight but I know it'll be worth it.
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