Have you heard about the lonesome loser

@lanalesty Glad it's not just the guys that make this mistake :) Thanks for sharing that. Yeah. It was a tough call. I didn't have a chance to message her back that I'd be open to just being Facebook friends. My power cut off in my block before I had a chance to send it in the dating site. By the time the power came back on her account was removed. That whole "in a complicated relationship" thing should have sent big warning bells off in my head. I probably wouldn't have even tried to message her if I wasn't so frustrated by not even getting a chance to ask the question.

Yeah theres also people who go on dating sites or hit on you on the net even if theyre in a relationship so yeah not everyone is honest so it's best to be careful :-) theres also quite a few stalkers and nobody wants those, so it's best to not be considered one. My advice is beyond two messages if they dont respond theyre not interested, simple as that! But in your case it was differen so i can understand. Another issue is girls sometimes arent 100% honest and instead of rejecting ppl outright they try to be nice about and send the wrong message so yeah... anyhoo thats all on my part. Good luck!

Yeah. If I did make an etiquette no no I guess it was best that it was someone I wouldn't date anyway. That's good luck right there! I totally agree with the two message rule! I follow that with friends. On that dating site it's one. No one is actually there to talk.

I've pushed things a bit far too recently with a girl on here. Situation was that we talked a fair amount and I told her a bunch about myself and linked my other profiles and such but she wouldn't even show me a pic or anything. I literally don't really even know who she is. Which makes me a little bit uncomfortable since I don't really know who I'm talking to. Now I understand she may have good reasons for this and I'm getting more comfortable with all this after talking to her more but it bothered me for awhile when I first started talking to her. So I searched her online usernames and found multiple profiles. I actually told her in passing the first time I searched her because I felt guilty about it. Now because I found certain "oddities" relating to some of her profiles (I'm not going into detail for obvious privacy reasons), I did more thorough searches. She also has a habit of occasionally being slightly mean, and it hurts my feelings when she does this even though she's just "joking". But the last time she did it it kind of pissed me off a little. So I kind of threw in her face some of the things I found on her. She's extremely web savy, probably much more than me so I didn't expect her to be surprised at anything I found. However I accidentally did it in such a way that it came off to her as very stalkerish and even threatening from her point of view. She almost broke off our friendship because of it. I don't really blame her as I have no idea what she has been through or her reasons. I can only assume she feels the need to hide her identity for some reason. I only became so curious in the first place because we discussed the theoretical possibility of a relationship but she wouldn't show me a pic or profile with a pic. It made me curious and I got carried away.

jas, it's okay to want to befriend someone you find interesting, but your actions were definitely giving off a stalker vibe. I don't know on what site you found her, but the fact that she deleted her account means that she didn't want anything to do with it in the first place. That means you should've just given up right there. She did warn you that she was in a relationship, and might dissapear at a moment's notice, so understand that chasing her (because that's the image you're giving) even after all that is kinda creepy... You're biggest fault though, was finding her on Facebook, that was a big No No. Let me scold you for that one: Don't invite people on FB that you don't now in real life, or have a genuine reason to add (as in you have something extremely urgent to tell them...). Why I say so is that FB isn't a dating site, it's supposed to be a place where you can share you're daily life with you're family and close friend. That's why people have the option not to display everything they do to strangers right off the bat. Because of its very personal nature, people don't tend to add others they don't know. Take my word for it. Don't do that on FB. Anyway, I think you get the picture so I'll shut up now.

Yeah. I got the picture a page ago but thanks for caring enough to give advice. I've also got to add that one of the questions they pose is "Would it be okay for someone to look you up on Facebook before meeting them". She answered yes. *shrugs* I took the situation and that into consideration before trying.

I think is nothing wrong of finding people in Facebook since an open social network. Adding them is another issue @jas, she made her point very clear that she don't want to have anything to do with you. Even though you have no intention, she can feel you harbor feeling for her. This is why she cancel her account. Well, tough to be a guy but you can do nothing about it except accept her decision.

I appreciate your opinion. However, from her wordage and provided information I don't think she was a fragile flower wilting from a single response to her profile. Anyone willing to check out a dating site while in a relationship isn't quite the shy, sensitive type. Just to be crystal clear I INVITED HER to add me. I did not force the request by hitting ADD FRIEND. "Just to forewarn you - I'm kind of in the middle of a complicated relationship, and I'm just browsing/testing the waters. I'm not seriously looking for dates and may disappear off the site at any time." She was doing just as she said. This was *before* I messaged her on Facebook. She was already in a relationship. She made it clear she could disappear at any time. *shrugs* I just wanted the message that I was available for a strictly friendly correspondence. I took a risk. Made it clear I understand how it could be taken and asked. As far as accepting her decision.. like I said. My friends made me realize just what kind of person seeks a date when already committed. She can have her fun. That's not a woman I can respect or even be casually acquainted with.

No worries just forget about her. Beside, she already make it clear she will disappear off the website. Many guys want a relationship but the world is cruel so accept it. Whether you like it or not, girls seem to think we want more than just friend. In her point of view, she feels you are interested in her so she back off. Based on your comment about her, I can tell you are interested in her not as friendship. Trials and errors will eventually get you something or learn your mistake. Even I need to accept the cruel fact about my relationship.