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Some advice?

key17
Nov 04, 14 at 8:11pm
Ok so, a bit of back story first: Because of some family issues, my parents divorced and I ended up growing up surronded by women. Because of that, I've developped a very strond respect for girls, and try to treat them the best I can, always. Most girls think I'm cute and some go as far as to say that I am "the nicest guy they've ever met". I'm usually quickly friendzoned, and it sucks to see assholes actually getting girlfriends easily. I'm usually happy for couples, but it stings to see literally ALL of my friends in happy couples while I remain single. I used to not care before I came to London, but lately things have gotten really depressing. I didn't know anyone here, and all of the people I've tried to befriend have all just taken advantage of me. One girl in particular, I did the most outrageous thing for, but she didn't even bat an eye when I recently told her that I didn't want to be friends anymore. On another ocasion, the one friend I have here try to introduce me to his Japanese friend but she literally ran away after just a few seconds in my presence. Maybe it sounds stupid, but all the self confidence I used to have is now gone because of it. I'm in my last year in Uni, haven't made any friends there cause they're all well over 30 for some reason. The days I don't go to lessons, I work or just stay at home because I don't really have much else to do. ... Anyway, this was a lot of stuff about me, but basically, past even the "looking for a girlfriend" thing, I don't know where or how to meet people. How do I make friendS? And how do I avoid having all of my acquaintances end up just taking advantage of my good will?
whitewolf_3
Nov 04, 14 at 8:56pm
Well Key, it sounds like you're doing something "nice" for something in return. The thing is that you don't have to be the barer of good will to those around you. Screw the goal of making a friend, enjoy the moment. Even if you enjoy the moment and do everything that's socially acceptable, some people just don't want to be friends or acquaintances with you. It sucks, but that's life. If that happens, keep moving on and open yourself up to new experiences that don't compromise your health, safety, and values. It doesn't matter how old your friends are. If you've met at least one person who would take the time to know you, then you're blessed. Through life, you'll meet many people who would enjoy the same things you do and not take time to know you. It's a waste of time to be around people who don't value you as a person. As for women, think about the experience you're giving to the woman. Are you coming off needy? Are you coming off as someone who wants something, but doesn't have the balls to say it outright? Whatever it is, it appears that you're not giving the experience that she wants. No, being an asshole won't solve it. Even if things with you and the woman who you want go very well, there's no guarantee that she'll want to be with you. Ultimately, the person who that the woman wants to have a relationship with is a reflection on her. In a nutshell, it's better to be alone than with the wrong people.
key17
Key @key17 commented on Some advice?
Nov 04, 14 at 9:08pm
Right, I've heard that one before :) Ok, I might have sounded like someone who just "acts" nice when necessary, but really what I meant to say was that I'm always nice, cause that's the kind of person I am, but always end up paying for it. It's not like I actively seek out people and shine they're shoes, they are actually the ones who come to me and ask for my help. I love to help, so I do, and then it turns out that's all they wanted from me.
whitewolf_3
Nov 04, 14 at 9:10pm
Hmm... when was the last time you said "no?"
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