Stressed

Yeah both are right Originally I was from a town out in the woods so to speak in north east texas. My teachers students all of them were stuck in there ways. To the point I self taught myself. However I learned that being able to talk with somebody who knows what you are going through helps. It allows you to see that you are not the only one and can reason with that person. Besides that do as yaasshat says and get professional help talk with a proper person who has the qualifications to deal with those issues. Maiotaku may the only active anime dating site but there are a ton of social network anime sites though on the other hand. I will provide many sources if you need them.

Woah... Hey, that hiding weapon shit is not cool at all. If you're talking about on a regular ( like even during school) basis, there is absolutely no good reason for that. Also, learn any fighting style is a form of discipline, not malicious intent in the making. I'm not trying to jump down your throat, but it's all to easy to slip down the path of no return.

The only issue with the E-cigs is, they stop me from fighting, violent rants, or getting annoyed. As for the alcohol thing, that happens during parties or occasions, I hang out with my adult cousins only.

Yeah, I started smoking at your age too. I used to steal cigars, keep some and sell the rest for profit. It's still a cop out, smoking that is. That's why I suggested learning coping mechanisms. You've gotta realize now more than ever that you are forming your future. These decisions you make now will effect you more than you realize.

I'm aware that weapons aren't right, no reason to kill. It's my violent definition self defense. This is what I mean, I used to be so happy and energetic 2 years ago, now look. I'm silent and completely stresses and violent.

So you are telling me the e cigs calm you down and prevent you from fighting and such. Due to the little burst they give you. That is not a good method of keeping you from doing those things. There are a multitude of healthy forms of eliminating that rage have you ever considered doing deep breathing exorcises or perhaps meditation. That is if you do not have a local clinic you can go to for help. I would like for you to read this if you could. You dont have too but it would help with the anger you have. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/emotional-freedom/201102/four-strategies-cope-anger-in-healthy-way

Hey, ya know what? I don't think this should be a thread of any of us shaming you. Instead, I do hope that you try to get some friendly advice. Most who have responded, have already been your age and some like me, have dealt with depression. Depression is no joke. I still deal with mine and the occasional panic attack. You said you're learning some self defense? Are you actually taking classes or self teaching?

Do you have any activities that fully calm you down regardless of the situation for example drawing. Also no it isnt agreed depression despite what some claim is all fake is actually a chemical imbalance and such people with real depression especially the more extreme forms cannot simply choose to turn it off without proper help.