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I’ve never been married thus I never experienced divorce but I think I know how she felt since I had such feelings before. Also, I agree with RainX and will most likely end up repeating his point of view, you clever guy. Look at it blindly, no one is at fault, and shawnji, you did nothing wrong; you were busy and did everything you could to keep life going. She was hiding her honest feelings and for way too long. You have to be a master to realise that something was wrong or things were going not fine and what to do right, so you couldn’t know it. Though it was a good thing that you eventually made her tell what she wanted because it could have been worse in future. What I can guess, I think she was really thinking a lot about you, worried about you and did all for your benefit and completely forgot about herself and what SHE wanted from life. The one reason of hiding her feelings was because she was afraid to upset you and take away your opportunity to get a job, and possibly to go to Japan. So this part can be her fault but we won’t blame anyone now. There’s also a possibility that her feelings have changed. We have to remember that feelings are the important part in relationship, it’s possible that she stopped feeling the same way and was afraid to tell it to you since you two were married and gone that far in life together. In this situation none of you can do anything, really; we still don’t know how feelings work and we would always feel regret for what we have done due to our emotions. This is why I always make myself stop and think for some time when I am having strong feelings or why do I feel this way and are these feelings real? I also advice everyone else to wait and think about any kind of situation. I’d have said that you should forgive her although I find her cutting all contacts with you is quite an extreme decision. On the other hand, too early marriage and young age do push people to do rush decisions and get exited too fast, it just happens and there are many who do that, so don’t feel bad about it, we all understand and I’m glad you do as well and feel better now, I truly feel sorry for what you’ve gone through. Her losing the chance to experience what peers of her age could have experienced also made her feel uneasy, but that is not your fault for the most part, shawnji, you both should have worked together and think through many things sure but strong feelings make people do crazy things, be they good or bad. (By no means I question your true feelings for her, I just say the extra feelings you get at the beginning which you can’t really control). As for advice, I’d only say that if you plan to do serious plans and actions with the significant other, you really should think it through and agree together for it. Plan what you two will do when it will happen, how it is going to be and such. For a simple example, if you plan to live together, imagine how it is going to be? Do you plan to live in his or her house? Or in a completely new place? Are you ready to live together to begin with? Try to travel together if you are not sure, this should give some picture how you two will act in different environment and also test how you two will manage living together, a simple volunteering or camping could be a good choice, too. By no means you have to do all of these things, just think about it, you could come up with your own ideas. Also, you know how they say, do what your heart says, it is relationship after all, trust your guts and make sure what your lover feel and want to do with their lives. I’d like to also repeat myself that I am not a specialist of these kind of things and I don’t know all the details so all this is purely my opinion. Also apologise for any grammar mistakes.