Confessions

Sorry to hear that Teacup. In all honesty she is the one losing out if she no longer wants to be friends with you. If you need to talk about anything I'm here ok ^_^

@Tea Why don't you just come to the Netherlands? Very awesome people here, especially close to the border were a lot of German people tend to visit. But don't go to Germany! We need more fun people here... They have enough people there =P Seriously, though which country/state are you right now?

@Maya No, it's me. It's PEPE.

I confess I'm not ready to watch the last episode of New Game ;_; (...I don't wanna say goodbye (๑◕︵◕๑))

I confess I have come to feel really saddened by a recent phonecall. Long long ago, when I was 15 I started a small club to train people on wrestling and Jiujitsu. It was for free. As a way for me to keep practicing and sharing with others, it truly didnt work as I never had the necessary amount of people to request a space. So I decided I would do it in a park on the university as it was an open excercise spot. I trained a couple of guys who actually found one of my old flyers. Based on tradition I managed my teaching in a familiar way, no need for me to be called a master when all of us were practicioners of the same art. You see, my students as good as they were they heavily lacked on humility, when I catched them bullying students on the school we attended I told them they might as well consider themselves expelled from our small group. Time passed I kept practicing and opened my small club again. The guys came trying to show me how much they grew without me being their nanny. Needless to say, 2 vs 1 is a hard situation to be on. I won, barely. Experience was on my side and tons of luck if you ask me. I was sad that people whom I have shared and trained with had become people who tried to hurt me. I stopped my club, as I deemed myself uncapable of teaching. If I had been a better teacher maybe I would have been able to pass them the morals and values that were taught to me. Last month, I had a call of one of those students. He called to tell me his friend was going to be charged with an intent of thieving. I decided to check on him, the student whom I still cared of was not behind that plastic window. I recently got a call of how he hurt a guard and he tried to hurt another one, so they had to make him submit. The phone call was from my student telling me he will probably end up on jail for a long time because of aggression. One of them is a good guy, he changed. The other one is on jail, and will probably stay. Am I a failure? Was it my fault he ended like that? I ask myself many questions tonight. Is sad knowing there was a time I called him my friend.

@taletellerinabox: I wouldn't worry to much bud. Not everyone is always good. Every person is different and different people perceive the world differently. This is exactly why I don't want to learn anything that is a breakthrough in science or know anything of value that a bad person can use. I'm worthless and of no use to anyone which I'm fine with I guess. Advanced civilization is far away from now. Human beings are ignorant of absolute truth and always will be. I personally don't know what to do with my life. I just play video games, so far playing video games don't seem to hurt anyone. Well I mostly play against computer to minimize my interactions with actual human beings. I guess all I'm saying is life is unknown, you can't control other people but you have control of yourself. Forget about them and try to be happy.

@taletellerinabox That is definitely not your fault. I don't know the full details, but it seems your students didn't plan on learning compassion or humility when joining your club. In most cases, kids join so they can learn cool kung-fu moves (#WOMP)... and I get the feeling he didn't become a delinquent because of your club; he was always that way. Rather, he was brought up that way. We don't know his circumstances or how his family raised him, or even if he had a family, what groups he hung out with, what insecurities he had to feel the need to attack others. Quite frankly, 15 years is young. That's definitely a puberty/rebellious stage. And you were young, too! Not even adults can expect to drastically impact or change others. You have to honor the fact that you kept true to your teachings and did the best you could. In short... YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!! YOU SHOULD BE PROUD!!! (but maybe you should've shown him some non-shonen anime like Sketchbook ~full colors~ or maybe some Miyazaki films (#WOMP) I think that would've helped...) (but in all seriousness: you probably did this but alerting more adults would have been a good option too. That way they can punish him during his minor offenses and hopefully prevent the larger ones. Other than that you did everything you could)