Confessions

Well I noticed a couple of things with that girl I was talking about. I won't go into all of it but part of what I noticed was that it's been three whole days since she's looked at my messages on Facebook but yesterday and today she's been online at least once to change her profile picture but didn't say a word to me. Only when I sent her a message saying goodbye(an hr ago) did she reply today after not even looking at my three previous messages. She didn't respond to the Goodbye part but she responded to the comments I left 3 days ago. As of this moment I resolved to just ignore her until I feel like talking to her again or just never speaking to her again. If she never messages me again because I never messaged back after leaving her on read this time then there's no real loss because it just proves what I was suspecting from the very first moment she told me that she liked me so I'm not really losing anything because it would just show that she wasn't anywhere near as interested as she claimed to be at the beginning, which was too much too quick to be honest.

I hate being the last to message with no response for days. Happens to almost every person on here I talk to. Like should I message again? Would it just be annoying? Are they really just busy and forgot and would be perfectly fine with it? I worry too much...

@climb Due to some things I've become really paranoid and untrusting the moment someone wants to be in a relationship with me so I have to take that into account and so I forced myself to be okay enough with the first time she changed her profile picture but she has two different accounts and she apparently took the time one day to go on her second account just change a picture and today she changed her picture on her main account. When she went to take the time to change her picture on two different accounts even if it was across different days but still didn't even read my messages or message me on either account that's when I couldn't help but call it BS. If you want to use me as an in-between or a fuck toy or a real relationship or just a friend then fine but tell it to me straight, don't tell me you want me for one thing and then act like you don't give a shit for the reason you told me you wanted me. I don't need that again so it's a big trigger for me. She is like a kid with super ADHD and after seeing her on a call I can understand and believe how she can go from one thing to the other and forget even if it's me but I feel like it's just bullshit when you go on both your accounts, change your profile picture and don't message me on either of them across three fucking days right after I like your posts and you tell me are you going to talk to me or just like all my shit and then you disappear and do all of this.

@baka I wasn't going to get into this part but it would seem like I was just ignoring what you were saying if I didn't mention this now. I have talked with her about wanting to know why she disappears so much when she states again and again that she can't go 24 hours without talking to me and then she does. She kept up with that for a little bit but then stopped. I told her with long-distance I would need someone often reassurance and she did a good job for a while. She's also very wishy-washy though or rather easy to guilt. Everybody she has dated in her life with someone that she didn't want to date but she didn't want to make them feel bad so she stayed in a relationship even up to an entire year that she hate it because she didn't want to make him feel bad by saying no or breaking up even when the person cheated on her. A few days ago she made me change my Facebook status to married and I just went with it but she got a load of shit from some guy and his cousin because he liked her and wanted to go out with her so she took it down and then said yes to dating him. Then she dumped him and a few hours after that I noticed he was in another relationship. I told her about this and she didn't feel guilty from what she told me after I told her that and convinced her to break up with him in the first place. Just the other day I noticed that he's in another relationship and he made that same new relationship post on one of the same days that she logged on but didn't talk to me and it's on the same account that she logged in on that says in a relationship and I didn't look before but I don't recall that account saying in a relationship. I get the feeling that she said yes to him again and just didn't want to tell me that she started feeling bad again and then said yes to dating him again on top of everything else which just pisses me off even more. Yes this isn't exactly evidence and it's more of circumstantial evidence but all the same it doesn't make me feel any better about the damn situation.

Ik the feeling gurren Oof sorry I didn't answer your question Baka. I think I know you mean even though I never dated when I was younger. You can't even really count it as three years of experience but I've only had 3 years, the last 3 years with any experience towards women or dating..