Confessions

@kohai Thank you very much. No threatening is necessary LOL. She completely disgusts me but she deserves happiness so I hope she can find it even though at the same time I want her to be miserable, she still deserves happiness after all the shit she has been through know whether she will get it I do not know cuz she fucks up her own life amazingly well so often. Anyway I just want her to keep the fuck out of my life. The only reason I didn't block her was because I wanted her to be able to contact me if she absolutely needed it and I am positive she wasn't trying to contact me because he actually needed me. The timing to what I said yesterday or rather two days ago was too coincidental period I just deleted her messages without even reading them. When I can forget about her is when things are ok but when she comes back as when she makes me feel like shit. Basically just her existence reminds me of shit I don't want to remember.

@kohai LOL. In a way she does look for trouble. She doesn't do it intentionally but her insecurities cause her to do it quite often. She will overthink things or think the worst of people's opinions of her and whatnot which causes problems that were never there. She has even thought and probably still does think that everyone on here hates her guts because what I have said before but that just isn't true but then there are other things that she thinks about people on here that aren't true either. So she does create her own problems. I'm sure she wanted to know why I said what I said or to complain and say that it wasn't true or something like that. I'm just trying to do my very best not to message her back and to blackmail her to leave me alone. I agree that the best thing is to not message her and that's what I plan to try my very best to do. I almost gave in and did something incredibly shitty to her but when I met Shannon she helped me get over that and just forget about it but now I am on my own again and so it's much harder to resist that kind of thing when is she rears her head up again.

@Muffin Yeah i think i did xD

I confess that sometimes I wonder if sacrificing ones self happiness for that of someone else is the right thing to do long term.