The "Safe" zone

Here's a thing that threw me off. It's not exactly friend zone, but where there's feels all around implies over texts, but when it comes to being alone things change, feelings change, and then reasonings behind it. Then back on the phone or txt it's back to where they left off before the akwardness happens. Let's just put it this way: the words are there of everything, but can never be put into actual motion, and that's where everything changes. Yeah.. That's something I don't like. Just recently experienced it at Otakon a few days ago from someone I met before there. And all I can do is respect the girl's choices. I understand how I feel about it, but is it fair to myself?

Try not starting off alone (assuming im interpretting this right) if you are alone like conpletely start off with public settings movies, malls, a coffee shop public places with lots of people she wont have to feel so apprehensive and she can let her guard down a little more in person I dont know of this is a long time friend or someone you recently met so I could be completely off. On the flip side there could be something deeper that she isn't telling either its embarassing or she is ashamed of or it could just be a complex situation she hasn't quite figured out how to articulate yet

Nah, it's just how it is. I met her at Otakon a year ago at the Aya Hirano show and had a blast, then kept in contact for a year through texts and phone calls, talking about getting back together. That should have already thrown some red flags up for me but just was curious to see where it'd go. As I see it, people live their own lives before we meet in the same place again and nothing really stays the same. She was in a loveless relationship in name but still a relationship so it's no place to butt in. So yeah, doesn't matter who did what, I think I got blue-balled at the end. Just some bad luck I guess.

I don't ever tack on feelings to text messages. You can't ever get an accurate read on people's feelings and subtle intentions through texts. Like I had a friend who was really into texting freak out thinking I was mad at him because I use punctuation and spelt out each word instead of shorthand.

Well, from the texts things got more in detail. Answers turned from maybes to more definites, but when it came down to meeting again texts became just words and nothing more. I mean, I like to base myself on chivalry not being dead, but maybe it's just giving myself an unneeded handicap. Honesty, not image, or something like that. And when feelings are spoken face to face instead of over a distance for a years time then it's time to put down the barriers of what's what. I can't be mad at her for what she said but it's still discouraging to know that words said over the year were okay but can't act upon them when you finally meet up with that person.

Honestly, I've done con hookups in the past and they seldom carry over well into the real world. Enjoy the fantasy you had and the friendship you still have.

Well that's pretty much a given. Doesn't mean it doesn't get to you, you know? Just in the given situation being the one rejected you start judging yourself as a way to assess what people want. I hate doing that, but its unavoidable. Even worse when you know you shouldn't heh.

But its not about just sharing my dislike towards that, since I know everyones got their own safe zone (or if you want to reference evangelion, their own "AT field") but trying not to sound too much of a jerk, I was something unappealing growing up, be it unkept or a drunk or delinquent. Rejection is something common everywhere, though right now there's no end to it after changing everything that kept people away from me growing up. That's all I can share until I just keep trying and figure out what's wrong, but the anguish still will be present. Grit and bear.