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so I'm on a dating site

xingthecrow
You sure you're shy? Haha. You come off as quirky too me. And y'know, maybe you're not the only one that's 'shy' in these situations. Most otaku I know are reserved and very passive at first. Which actually doesn't make sense for a dating site but still. ༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽ Believe.
mizzmay
Aug 07, 13 at 8:07pm
Physical attraction should always be secondary. And seriously this is a dating web site of course like everyone here is single for whatever reason. You can't say someone is ugly just because you haven't seen them. There's judging a book by its cover and that is more like judging it before even seeing the cover. If someone wants my pictures they can ask personally I'm not wasting time with shallow people who only look for looks.
mizzmay
Aug 07, 13 at 8:15pm
Lol Xing. Its different with everyone I talk to online. But for sure if you met me in person you'd probably wonder if I was mute. I'd judt sit there fidgeting awkwardly and be thinking to myself "Oh God did he notice I flinched? I seriously hope my hair isn't too bad today. Say something to him you moron. No don't. Quick find a shiny distraction!" So basically yes, I'm shy. XD lol
tornadomushroom
"Physical attraction should always be secondary." Yeah but is it? No. We live in a society where most of the time, Looks comes first and then personality comes second. A dating website is exactly what it is, a dating website. There are no rules for how to look for someone or how you want someone to magically approach you. And it's obvious you can't say someone is ugly if you've never seen them but that is the whole point. People want to know and will always want to know how you look like. Those guys who ignored your messages, would they have never replied to you anyway if you had your picture up or would they reply if you did? If you were attractive, would they reply? If you weren't, would they? You have to ask yourself these questions. If you ask me, everyone is judgmental and i don't care who you are if you say that you're not. That's a lie. No one is calling you unattractive but if you're not wanting to waste your time by not posting a photo of yourself to increase your chances, then you are going to have a very tough time looking for your "MAN" on a dating website. Trust me on this. There is no hate behind my post and that is not what I'm intending, people are blinded by their hopes and theres nothing wrong with that, but unless you do something about it, you won't be moving any further than you are now.
wallace614
I got to agree with tornado the man makes some good points in those two posts But what we are trying to say is conquer your fears and get out there on even grounds and try your hardest
rainx
Aug 07, 13 at 8:33pm
honestly, while the ideal world everyone wouldn't judge people solely on there looks, as I've said in other threads, it's hard to date someone you're not attracted to. If you're unwilling to post a pic of yourself on the site, then you're already setting yourself up for failure because not many people are going to take a profile with no IRL pic seriously. Most of the people on here who don't have actual photos of themselves more or less just treat this site like facebook and are just looking for friends. If you really want to have a good chance at a relationship with someone from this site, you're going to have to get out of your comfort zone a bit and post a pic of yourself on your profile.
mizzmay
Aug 07, 13 at 8:49pm
Honestly stupid. If someone can't accept you as a person without looking at you there's no point in dating them. Looks change. Say you're dating a girl and half her face gets burned in a fire do you never talk to her again because she's not pretty anymore?
tornadomushroom
Mizzmay, no one is disagreeing with you. We are simply telling you that the society we live in does not fit with the way we want to be seen. This isn't a perfect world and you're going to struggle if you're waiting for your noble knight to show up on a white steed. Looks change, yes. Personalities change, yes. But PEOPLE CHANGE IN GENERAL. Let me ask you this Mizzmay, there are 2 guys. 1 Guy is really handsome, sexy and cute. The 2nd guy is unattractive. They both have the same exact type of personality, same hobbies, same similarities as you. They are exactly the same. Who would you choose? Got your answer? My point is proven.
mizzmay
Aug 07, 13 at 9:08pm
Well since no two people are alike that won't happen but on the off hand chance it did I wouldn't go for the sexy one. Sure you can say I'm lying or whatever but its true. I wouldn't have to worry about getting heart broken as much. No girls trying to steal him. No feeling inferior. No worrying about how I look standing next to him that day. Nothing to be jealous of. Lot easier on me to pick the ugly duckling.
tornadomushroom
Yup, calling BS on that lol. Because an ugly guy can be just as attractive as the Handsome guy if he has confidence. Considering if theres a chance that they are unbelievably the same. You would have the same issue with either one. Ugly or not, men are men and women are women, they will break hearts. There is always competition regardless of physical attraction. What matters is that "YOU" do your part and quit playing the Damsel in Distress. Your jealousy will kick in regardless if hes handsome or not either. The moment he goes to kick it with girls, you're going to be jealous. To summarize it all MizzMay, the world you want to live in does not exist. If you want to become relevant, you have to play the game. It goes back to my previous question. If you had a picture of yourself up, would those previous guys you message continue messaging you? Or would they have not messaged you at all because of the way you look? Go ahead and say that people on this site are shallow, if that is how you see it then 90% of the world is shallow. Hell, you're shallow enough to think that you deserve attention without people not meeting their own standards, whether it be ridiculous or not. You set your own worth and you continue with it. Tough Luck. There is a saying "People will judge a book by it's cover, but just like books, many people give it the chance to change their mind once they've read it" Regardless if you're attractive or not, judged on, if you don't put in your effort, they shouldn't either.
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