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are thier still any noble men in the world?

shashank_desu
Hm, After reading the first few posts - I acknowledge everyone's opinions.. But, personal experience - "the hell, I would've expected an honest answer here by someone. But I haven't, so.." It doesn't matter if you're the shy type or not (some guys like that). If a guy that you described falls for you, and this situation does happen !a lot!. You >>will take him for granted<<, that's female psychology. "You" cant help it. But, learn from years of experience and start controlling your "burning loins", start falling in love instead of lust. (women are driven more by their loins than guys.. fact,) If a guy is 'that' nice to a girl, he will be friendzoned. he will be taken for granted. It's the law of nature/psychology. Read some books (not mangas). So, all I'll say is that - you probably did attract the type of guys you want - because they exist - if you haven't, it's only because you say so. Or he wasn't that "pretty". BUT - you'll probably end up neglecting him - and 'force-turn him less noble'. As he will also learn 'ways of life'. Unless of course - you are ready to sit down and think what and who is important, which is kind of hard without the proper experience/guidance This message is to all inexperienced GUYS supporting "niceness/chivalry". "There's a difference between a nice guy and a desirable guy." Any Goku/Kenshi/etc? that personality works in anime/movies. You can't change yourself from being nice. I'm not asking you to. Just remember that Nice is VERY Different from Desirable. After you get the girl - you are free to be nice all you want - do her laundry if you want.. but to get the girl you have to be desirable. Chivalry is a character quality the girl will boast about, AFTER ... not before it.
xueli
Wow, that kinda touches a bit on bitterness shashank. Another explanation as to why describing your best trait as being a nice guy won't automatically "get the girl" isn't because women don't like guys who are nice. Women aren't as a gender driven by lust anymore than men are. We have developed prefrontal cortexes just like any other gender out there. A nice guy description isn't attractive by itself because it tell nothing about you as a person. It's like if a movie was advertised in the USA as just being in english. Does that make you want to watch it?
drmario
I agree and disagree to some extent with several of these comments. Being nice (or kind), is an overlooked trait. In part, because it's hard to build a relationship on kindness. A shared humor helps people feel at ease and brings down barriers between them, and a shared physical attraction helps create a passion in the relationship. However, there are people who do honestly appreciate kindness and find it to be an important character trait. It's just one part of the puzzle though. A purely physical relationship will fail. One based only on shared interests will fail, and one based only on kindness and chivalry will fail. For me personally, it is essential to find someone who does appreciate things like compassion. If not, she probably wouldn't care much for my future job. And this is something, in my mind, that should be established before beginning a relationship, not after.
xueli
I remember posting an article a long time ago on a thread similarly discussing like nice guys. It doesn't specifically start off about relationships but it starts popping up more from mid to end. But this kinda sums up my view with nice guys and women. It's good to be nice, but that trait specifically won't attract someone to you. To quote: It's up to you, but don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. "But I'm a great listener!" Are you? Because you're willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there's another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you're a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn't make you sick. You're like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is "The actors are clearly visible." Read more: http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-harsh-truths-that-will-make-you-better-person/
amezuki
I've found that general courtesy and a conscious effort to not be a douchebag go a long way. There are people who are attracted to jerks and douchebags, but I'm really quite okay with it if not being one filters them out automatically. Also, that link xueli posted is gold. I don't quite agree with everything in it, but the essential point she's making is correct: just being "nice" won't make someone fall into your lap. It merely keeps you from being broadly disqualified right out of the starting gate.
drmario
My qualm with the article is that it makes "nice guys" out to be lazy guys who don't know how to do anything. There are plenty of "non-nice" guys with some of these same problems. If you ask most people to describe themselves without say I'm nice or I'm honest, etc., you'll have a lot of blank stares.
tornadomushroom
I've said a bunch of times. If you're always the nice guy, you're going to get friendzoned lol.
drmario
I don't fully agree with tornadomushroom. I know nice guys who aren't friendzoned. Besides dragonlover43 is basically saying she wants to date a nice guy. I think the people you hang out with has a strong determinant for whether a guy is friendzoned or not. I do have a nagging feeling that in the otaku community, it is more difficult to be a nice guy and not get friendzoned. Not to start a conversation on religion, but a church-going person would probably have a very different experience.
dragonlover43
shashank_desu i would have to disagree not all females are like that. i personally have never ditreated any of my boyfriends (i only had 2 in my entire life) i always treated then kindly, not like a slave i treated them like a person. drmario is right all im looking for is a nice guy not some ass who will just keep me around as a back up :(
shashank_desu
ah! the sensitivity burns my eyes!! before any further words gets twisted - The main reason that makes nice guys OR GIRLS less desirable is the way they treat people. they make themselves available - which is less sexy. especially to girls. girls like douche bags or jerks (as per the comments) because they know how to make themselves a scarce commodity. they know how to make a girl (or a guy) 'want' them. Which is more of a rush or excitement in the initial stages. We want things we cant have. That's a law of nature. Im trying to help out my 'nice' guys/girls here, who believe always being kind to a special someone, making your intentions clear as day, being available 24/7 for on their request, being there for them - is wrong as it makes you (instantly) a back up. Try this - but, dont talk to the significant person till they talk to you first, one word answers, don't tell them your plans for the week, be mysterious. you will SEE instantly the difference in the way they treat you. your importance goes up as they might be losing you ---------------- Dragonlover, no, not everyone is like that - but ask them about their previous relationships. That's what I'm talking about - experience. that's a woman/man. Most boys/girls dont have that experience/realization. I'm sorry that you were treated as a back up before. but ask yourself - did you make yourself so 'available' that you were put there? If you did - that's all on you! It hurts! Welcome. Also, dont get caught up in compliments, talk about more important stuff. ---- and seriously? nice guys cant play a guitar? only jerks can huh? ..without saying anything else- you just proved my point of superficiality in women.
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