The Worn-Out dating dogma.

so, here we all are. a bunch of like minded people who all chose to find and join a site like this, in pursuit of a meaningful relationship. yet why is it that nobody really has any success? one of the things I've been thinking about lately is that I'm tired of reaching out to people that don't seem to give a crap, and if they do, then why the hell should I have to pester them all the time just to start up some small talk again? the point: Girls, stop waiting for us guys to do EVERYTHING. I see you ladies posting all sorts of nonsense about how you need a guy whos not shy and will make moves, whatever. we are trying to be respectful, on top of the fact that if us guys ever do seem to bring up something more along the serious line of questioning, as pertaining to relationships, you run away, go idle, distance yourself, like we are a friggin' stalker or something. it's really annoying. girls have just as much responsibility to initiate and pursue as any of us guys do, if not more so, given the reasons i just talked about. but then again, theres also the possibility that no girls like me. -.- I'm just tired of people being disingenuous with each other. if we can't be sincere on a place like this then what is the point? discuss.

Hmm i look at it at both sides myself i will explain in a few mins but not all girls should be put in that category nor should all guys be put in one category but alas i will explain in a sec

^^ surely there are reasons for this or that in every particular situation, but as a general observation, this is what i see happening and it perturbs me.

Ok I understand your point and i also understand the view of others as well the way i see it not all girls are like this sure enough you may find a good amount but that is their personality though and it is who they are this kind of thing was built on many genereations so its hard to break a old habit that has went back centuries when it comes to making the first move i do think mayby there should be more equalitly but im not going to say everybody does this though i think we all just need to be more wanting and pursueing of our goals or wanting a relationship if you truly want one then dont be afraid to pursue it show your colors and be who you are that goes for both genders though not one if that happens then surely there are bound to be more relationships on here plus we need to not just want a relationship instantly we need to take time and chat with each other that helps alot i understand your viewpoint though and i hope you will find somebody on here yourself

I gave it a answer though i tryed to make it more simple and short though and thank you for bringing up something like this it does make a point

I've messaged some girls, but barely get any sort of response from a lot of them. I've probably got about a dozen or so friend requests that have never been answered. As far as the site goes, distance plays a part of it but even some more regional girls I get similar treatment. I just usually take it as a sign they are not really interested in getting to know me. I don't think it helps I'm old as dirt, but whatcha goona do? XD

metal; first of all thanks for the reply, although you REALLY need to use periods and commas. that was one ginormous sentence/paragraph. hahah. to your point, if a girls "personality" is to be cold and calculating towards people who clearly are attempting to get to know them, then it's no wonder they are single. that's just how I see it. I just know what I see and have experienced. maybe its been different for others. by the way, im speaking not only from experience from this site, but from relationships I've had in the past. I may be a total otaku dork, but I'd wager i may have more experience in this than some other guys around here, and so im just speaking on behalf of all of us. I'm not saying guys can do no wrong either, but girls tend to get a pass on it way more often. Cecil, you're not that old dude!! i dont think region, for me anyways, has played any significance in who decides to give me the time of day or not. everythings up in the wind around here, nobody seems to care. I've met one girl on here who i completely fell for, we both deleted our profiles, we would skype chat all through the night and day even half the world (literally) apart. a lot of promises broken by her in the end. now that I'm back here, trying to get over all that and just be myself with this thing again, its just very offputting to see how things are. and im not just going off what i experience talking to girls here, but also with what i read in the forums. im not trying to start a gender battle, though no doubt some girls will read this and get all huffy puffy, but girls, there are a lot of you out there with a laundry list of things about men that you take issues with, so im just returning the favor. in the end this isn't a personal vendetta, its more of a sociological issue that happens to piss me off. lol.

Yea Cecil I have a few like that.. but again I am thinking alot of folks are not on here looking for a relationship.. heck even some of the ones that say they are have their field so narrow will not find that person... I think most folks using this as a message base make friends and such.. while I do not mind that I wish they would like split it into two sites cause their are some genuine nice folks looking for that special Someone.. it makes it hard to see if that person is interested if they just using this site as a social network. Hehe and Cecil if your Dirt I am ash or worse yet oil man how many millions years ya gotta go get there rofl. Anyways I do See Doku's point but sometimes it cannot be help and all I say is carry on you will persevere.

^^ I'm not worried about persevering, i dont live and die by this site. it just makes me wonder why im on here. sometimes its nice to just chit chat but lets be honest, thats not what we signed up for. there are other sites for that.