What's the reason you're single?

everyone needs a gf like how my sis is She's nice, sweet, looks pretty good, not fat or skinny, perfect body outline, boobs are to big for my taste though ... Also I DO NOT have anything for my sis ... But as every person she also has her flaws but like her bf says her goods are so much greater than her flaws that he doesn't even mind them ... And since it runs in the family her health isn't really great and he doesn't even mind that at all. He's a really great guy, if all couples would be like those two the world would be such a nice place

If I may contribute to this post again, I think a large reason for my failure to bond with girls and my reluctance to date is also because I have been struggling with the whole "who am I?" question. The generic answer I get so often about dating is "be yourself and they'll find you". It annoys me so much that I'm sometimes tempted to scream at them lol. Knowing yourself isn't a simple objective in the least. When you're continuing to grow as a person, change is inevitable and for that reason trying to figure out if you are compatible with someone is nearly impossible. So if I were to give any advice to anyone, shoot for those people who understand that life is not as concrete as we would all like it to be and they are willing to accept that change and see it as something positive. And if any of us are lucky enough, both people will guide one another into making better changes. Please note that when I say "change" it doesn't have to be a drastic change. It can be a slow accumulation of smaller changes too. The reason I wanted to mention this subject though is because I have a big issue with dishonesty, especially when it comes to myself. If I say one thing about myself (again it can just be something small) and I end up discovering that I am the opposite of that or if I previously felt that was true but now it's changed; my first reaction is "damn it, now I look like I'm lying or incompetent and I don't know how I can convince this person that I'm a man of my word" and after I realize that this is incorrect for whatever reason my second reaction is "okay, so maybe I didn't lie, but how can this person rely on me if I don't appear stable or consistent". It has taken me a long time to realize that the truth of the matter is that people will always want a reliable and trustworthy partner, but changing my mind about things or tweaking my personality from time to time isn't about my stability or trustworthiness. It's about growth and I think that is something that should not only be encouraged but nurtured. Thoughts?

that comment made me confused for a bit ... But I do understand a lot of people don't know themselfs and if on top of that you want to learn to know someone it can be really hard. I can't really say that much on the topic because I never really had that problem. I do have the problem when I look in the mirror sometimes that for a second I'm totally confused who that person is. I really don't recognize myself but than I found out because of my problems my brain apperently takes a while to function normally ... especially when i'm doing things in the meantime. ADHD is a bitch. As well as personal disorder. Anyway the thing that I do have is that I will never know if I love someone because I have never felt that way to someone. And when I think I do love someone I end out hating them. So my question is more "Who are you to me?" instead of "who am I?"

I never like being single. If I was the kind of person that could substitute sexual pleasure for emotions and have sex anytime...but I can't do that, therefore I never like being single.

That's also something that complicates the situation. Perceptions are so fickle. But that's a good thing too. That means there is always a chance that opinions aren't rock solid.

so just to understand you vampie you want a girl not to have sex with (at least not as priority) but one to love and be loved by, one wich whom you can share you days and have fun with one that you can come home to and will welcome you with open arms ... But most of all one that no matter what will always stand by your side and love you no matter how wrong you go?