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leading people on

soulxevans
I appreciate all opinions and advice given. to put in my 2 cents on what you said I feel as though I always respect and act straight forward and clear with what I want in a relationship with a girl, of course i'm not a robot, I don't just say "Lets go out a couple times then I'm going to ask if you want to go steady, then we are going to get married, have 2 kids and live in a nice big house in the hills." I usually just say lets go out. and if the first date works, I say I'd like to go out again, it seems like at a certain point when both parties are ready they will know it's the right time to be serious with the relationship for me that's usually a month or 2 after I get to know them with a couple weeks to a month in those 2 months were we have actually been going out on dates. If there is something wrong with the way I'm doing things I need to be notified asap. Should I go all out and just get into a relationship on the first date, should I be waiting longer before I get serious? Idk
valshe
Dec 06, 12 at 2:27pm
Ah, so thus the topic slowly switches to... Rushing things. It's often very difficult to tell what is a "good time" to edge a relationship on further. I mean, it's hard enough to tell if you're ready, but having to tell if the other person is ready too? Jeez, talk about complicated. Look, I really can't tell you when you should go all out, but the first date I know isn't the place. Try looking at from an outer perspective how you may have been coming off to your dates. If there's nothing wrong there, well then It's more then likely that the problem was not you or your actions, but your date the entire time. Simply put, it sounds like they just may not have been (or aren't) ready...and there's no real telling when someone else WILL be ready (could be days, weeks, months...maybe even longer)... Wouldn't it be nice if people were a little more direct about these things. ...And why did this make me remember the movie "The invention of lying". Anyone have any experiences with identifying the proper time to further pursue the relationship?
ryuseven_0
Wish I could help. Although I started relationships it's never been the right time. Yes you can start relationships when is not the right time for a person. However, the moment you do is doomed to fail which is what has happened to me time and time again. If you can't even start the relationship is more likely that you both just don't click somewhere or she's just not into you like you think she is. If she was she would be more afraid to lose you by telling you about someone else.
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