What's the hardest part about dating YOU?

1. I'm shy and less talkative until I fully trust and opening with that person. 2. I see dating more like hangout with a friend than an romantic dinner because my ex never took me out on a real date before. 3. My cousin told me that I was "hard to get" type of woman. >__<

I struggle to open up about stuff, I'm always there to listen to whatever problems the other person has but I will never talk about my own issues

Location. Really hard for me to find gay males from the North American continent apparently. Like Canada, USA, or Mexico, because everyone that keeps messaging me, or online dated me in the past, either lives on an island or lives oversees on a different continent where they don't even speak Emglish. I'll even take someone from Nova Scotia as long as they live in North America. I'm desperate at this point. I've only ever dated two Americans. One was from Hawaii and other ghosted me. I don't know why my luck is so bad. I feel cursed. Why is it so hard to find a gay American, Canadian, or Mexican? I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

Well, the thing is, I don't use dating apps. Other than like howlr. But my college is in northern Ohio not cincinnatti, so I have to stay in Northern Ohio. I rather date on a website like MO where people are more mature and together than an app where everyone just wants to do one night stands and send nudes like tinder or grinder. I actually want to form a relationship. Not play games. So yes, I could use a "dating" app and search by distance, but 1 when I do the people that ARE in my area won't even talk to me. And two a lot of the times we'll talk like once and they won't speak to me ever again. But the poeople who do speak to me live like Asia or South America. It's frustrating. I mainly have trouble finding bachelors on MO, not dating apps. With apps I can find people in Ohio easy, but it's more or less a gamble on with not I'll evem get talked to.

Part of me thinks it's, because I never message first. I'm shy and I never message first. Maybe that's why my luck is so bad idk.