@gaybunbun I agree with @gvbhnim you do you babe! Surgery does sound super scary though.
I can't say I know your family or what your exact relationship is with them. Psychological abuse runs deep in many families even if they appear 'normal' on the surface.
My mother was physically abused by her father as a young girl and to this day lives with depression. However, my mother always made it a point to be greater than her past. She never let the pain decide how she lived her life.
She found ways to cope and even if that didn't erase the tragedy, my mother took comfort in what she knew was right.
As her son I am proud to have her as a mother. She didn't have to be the kind woman she is given everything the world and her own family did to her. She made that choice on her own and I have faith you can as well.
As before, Conner, your life is your own. Decide what a positive influence you wish to leave behind as your legacy. Make a family with those that treat you as human being. Most importantly, never doubt yourself no matter the circumstances.
@gaybunbun do you have gender dysphoria?
I can imagine how hard it can be not to be accepted like the way you are. Guess what? You are okay the way you are.
One of my friends went through a similar issue. She's gay and her father believes in Christian values. It wasn't good news for him, but both going well along these days. I know, every family is different. You don't have to tell your stepdad about your well being. If you need more time to figure your identity out - take the time. Don't let you tell by others how you shall feel.
@gaybunbun you dont even know what it is? xD