Any advice?

Hi, I am a kind of awkward 19 y/o guy who doesn't know anything about relationships. I want to find someone who playing video games/watching anime as well as being able to deal with my... unique personality. I have some serious self-hatred. This may just be a waste of time, but I thought I might as well try to see if anyone could give me advice or just words of encouragement in finding a girl who will genuinely care about me. God I am realizing how pathetic this looks...

Honestly, you should work on your issues first. Codependency and/or self-loathing/insecurity are about the worst things you can bring into a relationship, no matter how supportive your partner is. Behavioral therapy can help, as well as some self-help literature. If you can't be happy with yourself, you'll drag or project others to believe the same.