I'm slowly losing it...

There is a saying "god gives his hardest challenges to his strongest of angels" or soemthing like that i probably butchered it. But honestly ik how you feel i have been beaten down with just bad situations and awful relationships. But everything happens for a reason. If you see things arent working your way its probably for a reason. Assess the situation and try to see the bigger picture. Idk if yoy are religious or not but try to see what god wants from you. For me i fell into such a bad spotin my life where i had nothing going for me. In the end it made me come out stronger and fight to make sure it never happened again. As far as relationships goes. Every relationship is a learning experience i have had some pretty nasty ones myself that went sour. But they did help me out in a way. I had no self esteem or confidence in myself and with time i grew past that thanks to them. Honestly life is what yoy make of it.

Well one thing I can say with the time I have before I have to go to work is, don't turn to dating for happiness. Get some professional help, and don't turn to the internet for answers. Because god damn it, I've been single for 11 years now, even with all my "dashing looks" and understanding in psychology in female attraction. A big part is because I don't have my life together, and from the sounds of it, neither do you at the moment... Neither do a lot of us for that matter.