Maybe our parents shouldnt have had kids?

My parents werent perfect my mom who wasnt able to take care of me and my siblings growing up. Ontop of the fear she had between me and my dad who once threatened me (at only 3 years old) i was sent with my grandparents who always wanted a son but never had any. I spent some years with them and my mom eventually divorced my dad after he tried to choke her because he thought she was cheating on him. My mom eventually found my stepdad ans she fell in love and growing up i always felt like her love for him mattered more than us. Whatever he said was law and eventually she would just do things so he wouldnt be upset. My stepdad is a great man who took care of 4 kids that arent his despite never having kids of his own. He was there through tough times even when our real dad thought of us as nothing because our mom left him. My childhood was spent moving from house to house and city to city trying to find a stable place to live. A good paying job wouldnt last long due to my youngest brother misbehaving at school. My mom was too negligent with discipline so my stepdad did it and he often didnt even want to do that cuz often times he would end up hurting us by accident. But all of us turned out ok (except my youngest brother who still acts like an asshole) my parents arent perfect but i survived and im doing bigger and better things with my life

My parents are nice and get along really well probably because both of their parents were forceful. my stepdad was born into a wealthyish family and his parents limited his options in life and made him do sciences there was always drama going on with his siblings as his parents cared mostly for them. my grandmother always abused my mother and her sister and forced her to do things that she didn't want. personally I've noticed that the best relationships tend to be ones where people can relate to each other with some difference, because of the way my parents were treated they're soft on me. my mother is nice and obsessed with gardening and art my step-dad is good with computers and is a very intelligent man (and a funny one too) really I'm glad I have my parents because I don't really know how i would have lived without them. :D

I can’t say my parents are the worst, but then again there not the best. My parents only got married to each other cuz tradition. So i always felt like they had no idea what they doing when they decided to have me and my brother. Honestly everything was going fine when I was born, maybe cuz they were still newlyweds. Thou once they had my brother they changed and became workaholics. They would always work and barely got to see them, but because of this I feel like both me and my brother have become independent. Consider if we didn’t we would be dying from hunger and shit. We had to deal with everything by ourselves. Thou I also think that being neglected like that has cause me to isolate myself. I don’t hate my family, but I can’t say I’m close to them. Feels more like just people that just live with and share the same blood.

My relation with my parent is where you can say that it is very distant. We rarely get along despite having some effort put onto both parties. Ever since I was born, I was taken care by different households. When I was living in Korea, I was raised by the uncle from my dad's side and also my mom's side. My dad's side had an uncle who could not walk, aunt, older cousin brother and sister. For the most part, I followed that brother like a glue and became really attached with. My mom's side had an uncle, aunt, cousin that is relatively the same age but have a faster birthday (which we fought a lot about it) along with 2 older cousin sister. I lived with both household when I was living in Korea, alternating between that two households (I moved like 4 times around 1-2years each) based on their circumstances. During that time, I never noticed where my real parent was or even knew about their existence. Apparently, they did call me several occasions, and I told them I didn't know them and my mom and dad is here. When I got a bit older, some strange men came to get me and got me to Canada to live with my biological parents. Guilt on my fault for falling for their temptation of toys and said okay when asked whether I want to go to meet with my real parent in Canada. After coming to Canada, I was told that I can't go back to Korea because there was some business trouble that my parent had in Korea. Apparently, they told me that if I do go back, I would get questioned or some sort. So my new journey started in Canada with my "real parent" begins, in a relatively a small town. Like before, living with them didn't feel like we were much a family. They both were barely home as they both worked long hours. I had many tutors, (one)piano teacher, music theory teacher and babysitter where I got along fine and really attached(mostly babysitter and tutor, which I spent lots of time with). Some of my tutors often took me out to buy me food, watch a movie together or take a walk around the town at the last few hours of my tutor time. I mean 3-9 hours a day in the library, as a kid...where barely any of the studied material got through to my head anyway. I really wanted my brain to become a sponge to impress my parent, but I just couldn't absorb any of the materials. Whenever they were home or we got together something unpleasant happens. Most of the night was a screaming fight between my mom and dad (they always slept in a separate room), yells at me for a promise I couldn't keep where I have never made a promise. Whenever my dad starts screaming at me for whatever reason, my mom tends to join in to express her kept frustration towards me... my dad then gets mad about her butting in and end up screaming at each other anyway. I end up getting this habit to just freeze up in silence whenever faced with a conflict of some sort or even having a conversation with them. If I did try to talk back, they yell at me for talking back to them. Since they didn't like my behaviour and was not as perfect as they think I was, they always sent me away to another household to change my behaviour by living with them during long school breaks (Most of the long school break they have sent me away to another household). From that, I got to live and experience with so many different households and I got along with them pretty well! My parent gets really jealous how they can't get along with me like other and thinks I don't try hard enough to get along with them. I was home alone most of the time when my age didn't really need a babysitter. I still had a tutor (Despite the effort, I always had a poor academic), piano and violin lessons. I was able to quit violin relatively early since I couldn't handle the load and said no to my dad with lots of courage. Having to spend my time alone is where I came to love cartoons, anime and video games. I had a tv, game console (PlayStation 1 with add-on portable, GameCube, Ps2, PSP, Gameboy advance and sp), computer in my room...and this wasn't a good idea. My parent's provided all those goods to win me over. Well, it kind of backfired since, I spent most of my time at home in my room door closed off, besides from school, piano practice, tutor, piano lessons and cook. Sometimes, I have skipped my school and did witness my mom having affair while I was hiding in my closet when I noticed a car pulled up to my home's driveway. Even now, we as a family is a bit of a mess with constant tension when we are together. I just freeze up whenever they try to make a conversation with me and they just get really frustrated that I am always so quiet and not really responsive. Since I got to meet with many people and picked up different values from different people, I end up noticing many things... My parent tends to be very closed minded as they mock things that they don't really understand. They mock other cause they are a Chinese, Vegetarian, Gay, Disabled and many other... I do try my best to not really get involved and like to avoid them. I know avoiding, running away from them is bad since I am their only offspring... but my brain pours in so much warning signals whenever I am with them. I am still thankful for raising me up without a worry about education, food and shelter. I know I had an easier life compare to other people, but I do like to question why did they have me.

I definitely think my parents shouldn't have had as many kids as they did (there where 4 of us in a minimum wage family). but i do cherish all of my siblings Because my family was poor my parents where stressed out all the time and usually gone at work. My mother suffered a miscarriage with her second child, and I think that changed her. She was depressed all the time, hated her life, and i think me and my siblings where a reminder to her about her sucky life. She would spank us for the smallest things. I remembering being so scared at times where I couldn't even speak. The worst spanking i got was when she took me to the back and hit me with a belt. My dad didn't believe in spanking but instead would make us raise our arms above our heads. When my brother was born he was very weak to the point where he always had seizures. Because of that my dad wouldn't let my mom spank him. My older sister eventually got the courage to stand up against my mom and eventually the spanking stopped. However my mom still spited us, she would ignore us, yell at us if we asked for food. Literally if i tried to talk to her she would pretend i wasn't there, she wouldn't even turn in my direction to look at me while i spoke. So me and my siblings learned to take care of ourselves. i definitely credit me staying out of trouble and doing good in school to my dad. He was always working hard and tried to help where he could. Because he was never home me and my siblings sadly never learned to speak korean. So communication between me and my father was hard because he couldn't speak fluent english and we couldn't speak fluent korean. But even with the language barrier i could still see he cared. I didn't want to burden him or disappoint him, so i tried my best to be a good daughter and to care for my siblings. however during my last few years of high school my mom got into a car crash. She made excuses not to go to work for 2 years. which really put our family in a tight spot. My dad worked himself literally to the bone. He became so thin in a couple of months and had to be hospitalized. He was there for months, some days it looked like he would be ready to be released other days he was barely hanging on. During this time me and my siblings really started to hate my mom. She would barely visit my dad in the hospital. And my mom eventually decided to pull the plug on him with the doctors while he was sleeping. Me and my siblings never got to say goodbye and I don't think I can ever forgive her for that.My mom took all of my dads life insurance and takes all of the social security that is for my younger brother. tbh my mom is garbage. i try to be understanding with her but it can be hard.

damn guys... your stories really give me the feelz :( There have been times when i've wished i was never born at all; My father is a truck driver who works abroad, so i've basically been raised without a father. He comes back home for 1 month per year, with some years even skipping. For the last 25 years i've seen him for like 2 years total time. He gets mad easily and my insecurity doesn't help either, often i feel he's disappointed in me and i remember him hitting me when i was a kid for petty things. Naturally, I ended up not liking him very much and to this very day i don't believe we have a close or real connection to each other. When one of us has a birthday or something, we would send a text or tell through my mother a wish, but we can't really communicate to one another... I was born when my mother was at the age of 36, a very wished for child, after many attempts and even a miscarriage. So being a single kid with no father I was raised by an overprotective , very attached to me mother. I ended up being weak and spoiled a lot. I wear glasses since 1st grade because I watched TV from too close when i was a kid, ignoring the warnings it would damage my eyes. After 7th grade my parents could finally afford to buy me a PC, which was the beginning of the end for my poor social life. I've always been a shy guy but I would still venture outside or talk a lot to strangers when i was a kid. After I started playing on the PC though, I would venture less and less outdoors; gather less and less with people - eventually building up in me strong anxiety and lack of desire to go out. I gained weight and depression took hold of me for many years, being more suicidal in my teen and early 20s. Being always told I should not pick up fights because i'm "smarter than that", that i should always be polite, etc etc - i ended up being a weak person who often gets socially abused because " i dont want to offend the other person ". In high school, being a shy, antisocial guy i eventually started to get bullied by dumb, rich kids who believed they were special and they could do anything they wanted. I was coping with my current suffering through ( black ) metal music and other such self-destructing behavior, piling up negative energy inside me. I never got into a real relationship because of my lack of social skills, even though i'm a romantic and devoted guy. I believe i'm a lot better than many abusive douche bags that end up having girlfriends... we'll see if in another year i'll possess wizard skills. Now, at the age of 29, i'm not proud of what i have accomplished in life as most of the time i've spent playing games on the computer, running away from the reality i've created for myself. Even though i'm currently working, i'm still very shy and i believe the damage that was done to me in my earlier years could never be undone and has changed and shaped me for life. I had certain goals and dreams i kind of gave up on and started just flowing with the river.

Well my dad had a lot of issues since my childhood, he has what is called "paranoid personality disorder".. he is aggressive and short tempered, always overthinks the smallest things, very delusional and have lots of misconceptions about this world(even though he is highly qualified), thinks that all his relatives are trying to kill him, always doubts that mom is cheating on him and worst part he doesnt doubt that there is anything wrong with him. Since i was a child he has always been beating me, sis and mom a lot for silliest reasons possible and restricts us to have any possible freedom (even to make lots of friends), and this had produced a kind of hatred for me towards him (i loved him, but hated him too). things only worsened as we grew up, and his superstitions(extreme orthodox christian superstitions) also worsened. When i reached 12th grade, i started having fights with him and that made things even worse.. i couldnt see him abusing my mom anymore so i never allowed him to and always faught back when he tried to, it went on for some time until after a year when he calmed down a bit and didnt do anything atleast infront of me. I even shifted to hostel after coming to college to escape this tension between me and dad. Even worse things have happened in 9th grade which i wouldnt want to mention publicly but in brief it involved him beating me everyday and banning me from having friends, watching tv, playing games or even going out.. I have always thought that my father should never have had kids, more than that he should never have had a wife.. and my mother is soo good that she calmly takes all of it and behaves the way he wants to and still says to us that she loves him a lot. For some reason though things turned out good for me in my development, i was kinda like him when i was small, but at that time i had decided no matter what i wont turn like my dad and that resolution has helped me a lot, as a result i became his opposite.. which i feel is good, moreover due to all those "training" i got dealing with dad i can handle almost any person no matter how annoying or stressful or short tempered they are and i never get angry. like i said initially i used to hate him, but after entering medical field and knowing more about things i dont hate him anymore, he has a psychological disorder which is the hardest to treat but thats all.. him doing all those is not really his fault he just needs a proper counselling with some anxiety relieving medications, and thats what i and my sis are planning to do, we have already talked with a psychiatrist and a priest to collaborate and help us treat him. The funniest thing is My dad is an extreme christian believer and thinks that we are too, but in reality my sister is an atheist and i and mom are agonist and i really think this is coz of dad's negative influence.