Opinions on Open Relationships

Some comments gave me headaches. Hello! It's me again! The weird person from this website! Do you need more reasons to think I'm disgusting? I can give you more :D Don't ask me why I feel this way, because you don't ask yourself why are you straight, as so, I don't need to ask myself what feels natural :b If I had a open relationship with someone, it wouldn't be cheating, it wouldn't mean having a relationshit >:( In my mind, loving someone ROMANTICALLY is different than SEXUALLY. I'm a vanilla person, aka, I love "soft sex", I'm 100% not kinky. I openly say I f*cking love sex. I f*cking love d*cks as much as I love boobs. The type of pleasure that I receive when the person that I love says "I love you" is a type of pleasure that I can only feel with someone special. On the other hand, even though sex with someone that I love is pretty amazing, I have the desire of having that first night sex again. That sex that you don't know the weaknesses of your partner, and your partner doesn't know yours, that weird and funny sex feels really good to me. I can devote myself romantically to my boyfriend/girlfriend/datefriend, because thats the only person that makes me trully happy. Sex it's just something that I really enjoy. I would not cheat my datefriend just because I had good sex with a person that I have NO romantic feelings. I want a partner to kiss, and hug, and cuddle, and hold hands, and to hear me, and to help with everything, and to make a family, and etc etc romantic etc for the rest of my life. + Friends with benefits is sex with a friendship relationship instead of a romantic relationship. Open relationships should be a romantic based relationship instead of a romantic & sexual based relationship I fucking hate those cheaters that f*cking ruin what people think of me, but I don't care anymore :/

"In my mind, loving someone ROMANTICALLY is different than SEXUALLY. " No it ain't. Same shit. Unless you're asexual.

Sai- I mean I don't find you disgusting, as long as it is a agreed upon premise with your Significant Other/s. That said, I'm a bit confused by what you're saying. Are you saying you're for open relationships or not? I mean if you both agreed to that type of relationship, than no, it's not cheating. But if you don't tell them than obviously it is cheating. I mean of course you can find someone sexually appealing without loving them. However plenty of open relationships also include romance, not just sex, with multiple partners. It doesn't just stop at sex for many individuals. Personally, I wouldn't want an open relationship. Finding someone appealing, and wanting to fuck them are two completely different for me. Sex to me is connected to emotions often, because you can hug and kiss your parents, you can cuddle with more people than that. But you don't fuck your parents. You don't make out with them. Sure those other things are also showings of affection, but sex is also, infact, I could argue, it's showing MORE affection depending on the situation, as again. You only have sex with your SO(In most relationships). All that other stuff? You do with others. To me sharing something like sex, or romantic feelings with others, Cheapens them both. That's coming from a guy who loves kinky, rough sex. I'm also possessive of who I'm with, it's just instinct. However, I brought this conversation up, not to bandwagon against open relationships but to try to understand the other side of things. Not because I want one, But because I want to understand it.

I'm so sorry for not explaining well! I'll try again So, I would prefere a open relationship than a closed relationship. Though I wouldn't mind being in a closed relationship, but the person should be aware that after 7/8 years I'll probably start feeling weird feelings. This feeling wouldn't be dating, just a wish of something different and new. Romantic and sexual feelings together is something very particular of the human kind. The way we feel it is different from any other animal. We don't have something to based on, were is wrote that humans only feel a romantic and sexual connection with only one person? That the other people that cheat, and me, a person that doesn't want to cheat but have not normal feelings are wrong? Asexual Heterorromantic, people exist, Asexual Arromantic people exist, Asexual Birromantic people exist. An Asexual Heterorromantic doesn't feel a sexual desire, just a romantic desire with the opposite sex. A relationship can exist without sex. When Asexual people find their partner they are happy only with the desired romantic feeling. What happens with me and with my mind is something similar with an Asexual Birromantic. I'm happy with a romantic partner, but the concept of a sexual relationship is blind to me. But in opposite of Asexual people, I wanna get involved in sex, and doing that with the same partner starts getting boring. The vanilla side it was to say that it isn't like I wanna experiment new fetishs with someone or something like that, I just wanna explore a body. + if it helps you to imaginate my mind, I can't think of kissing someone that I'm doing sex with, cuz kissing is something that I only want with someone that I love, it's a romantic action. I can explain more if you wish, I'm sorry for my first explanation, was really Salted I confess. Also! Disclaimer! Poly and open relationships aren't really the same Poly is associated having 2 partners (or more) but the 2 partners also love each other. Open relationship is more about being able to feel something different with a different partner, without they loving each other back

And you have the audacity to think yourself any more disgusting than any of us. http://theundercoverrecruiter.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/nah.gif

Hmmm. So you say after years of being with someone, of being in a closed relationship you'd basically get bored of them sexually, Making you yearn to be with someone else. However you also state that people can have relationships without sex. That sounds contradictory, care to explain more? Also feel free to elaborate as much as you want, that was the whole reason for the topic. Sex just isn't romantic to you, which is fine. That's actually what I expected from most people who have open relationships. However I would disagree on the fact that an open relationship isn't a type of poly. It's just a different kind of one, or a specific kind of one anyways. It also seems you(And I could be completely wrong here.) that you may not see relationships as a life long commitment either, by what you said before. Also not all animals are poly. Wolves for example, are monogamous as long as their partner doesn't die, and even then sometimes. We aren't the only ones that often pair up with one partner. Infact, if we go back a few millennia it wasn't natural for us. However, somewhere down the line, we figured out, most of the time, that two just works out better for most individuals. There's nothing that says you can't have sexual lust or romantic feelings for another person, But in the end, it's whether you want to stay loyal to one person in that end of it, whether the connection is strong enough to choose them over all the other options. Me I could never do it, Or should I say, I Wouldn't do it. But as long as both parties are happy and consenting I don't mind what you do.

Leo, Im a little bit jealous of you~ You explain yourself so well~~ I can't do it, so ask me for my plot holes and I'll try to explain myself better. Most Asexual people want a romantic partner for the rest of their life. I relate to them in this matter. I want someone to share my happiness and joy, and build my life with them. I wanna kiss someone, go on cute dates, travel together, etc... The difference between me and Asexual people it's just that I like sex and I wanna experiment that freely instead of just not feeling any kind of sexual appeal with anyone, as an Asexual would feel. This was just an example to explain my romantic desire with someone, using Asexual people as a way to compare with me. Relationships can work without sex. I could be romantically fully comited with someone, and without sex with that person, as long as I could fulfill my sexual desires with someone else. This is how I feel, a romantic desire with someone special, a sexual desire with someone new. I can work with a closed relationship, I would just had to agree that maybe after some years I'll need a break to explore my sexuality again.

Hmm. *tilts head* problem is that a lot sexual relationships form some form of affection. If in a moment of passion, while in a sexual situation, is kissing NEVER gonna happen? Even though its meant only.for the one you love? Even accidentally, does that mean you have feelings other than what you should have with them. I can agree that human emotion isnt so cut and dry. If a person is able to give you a hall pass, then thats fine. Ive known people to. But can you for sure guarantee that if for some reason something meant only for the one you love happens, can you immediately hit the breaks and end things there? That would be important. Most open relationahips, require a direct agreement. And of it gets to marraige, has pre-nups. The issue here as most hear about these kinds of relations not working. That even if its "just sex" affection forms. Maybe just kissing, maybe going on dates. A lot care more about taking a woman who is with someone else than the sex itself (tho arguably it makes them like it more). We are geared to love those we build a family with... and sex is often the act for that. Though, if i may ask, if you had a relationship like this? How would you make it up to your SO? Give him freedom with you he wouldnt normally have? Open relations nornally means he can explore too. But normally there is a "make up" Im pretty open minded, but i can be a fairly jealous and territorial person, even just about my FRIENDSx let a lone an SO. So to answer this thread, "if you like it cool, just not for me"