Is It Going to Work Out?

So, my current boyfriend and I are having a couple of relationship hiccups. We have been dating for almost a year now in April. The issue is that when we first started talking he seemed perfect. He was really funny, sweet, and we had everything in common. The chemistry was off the charts. I thought I struck gold when he asked me out. Not to be too crude, but we are physically intimate a good amount as well. The thing is that the spark is dying and fading. He doesn't really flirt, his actions come off as more of a friend than a significant other, he doesn't really go out of his way to wow me anymore like he did in the beginning. If is he busy or distracted I won't hear from him for hours at a time. We both work opposite schedules so it makes it even more difficult to talk. He isn't a bad guy or mistreats me, I also know he would never be unfaithful. By far this has been the nicest relationship I have been in, but part of me feels like its not the complete thing I'm looking for. He's not like romantic in any big or small way. He also lives an hour out of town which makes it hard for us to see each other. He comes down or I'll take a bus to meet him about 3 quarters of the way to his location. We've also talked about it face to face. We came close to breaking things off once before because of it. I'm his first and serious relationship where I have been in a few bad ones. So far though he still hasn't made much of an attempt at showing he'll go extra lengths to make things a bit more romantic between us even though I treat him well. His Valentine's gift I made him was handmade. I cook for him, draw and paint him stuff. I've really done as much as I can to be a great girlfriend for him. I mean I fell for him because he was doing a bunch of stuff that showed me he was into me and wanted to pursue me which is a very attractive quality to me. Now he doesn't because he says he became comfortable with me. Okay well that is nice, but I wish he was a bit more clingy. Like complimenting me more when I get dressed up to look nice for him, and leaving little sweet messages for me while I'm working to open and look at during a break. Or surprising me with a favorite candy of mine or putting a surprise picnic in his house when I come over or anything chivalrous like opening my car door or any door for that matter. I really like those guys who pull out their chairs for their wives or put their coats on for them or dance with them when a slow song comes on. Cute cheesy corny stuff like that. I'm just not sure how long I can wait to see if there is potential there or room for improvement. What I'm seeking and his nature aren't compatible. I just feel like there could be more and I don't think he knows how to express his love or takes in my feelings in a way that makes it clear he can do that.

Relationships are never easy it’s tough at times talk to him about what you feel maybe he doesn’t know tell him how you feel as of now see if he stays true and he’s faithful and understands. Nothing is easy in life but I feel you have a good relationship with him so far just tell him how you feel

I'm going to be perfectly blunt here. Chivalry in this day and age is practically dead. Complacency in relationships is a very real thing and all the "little things" people will do for one another early on in the honeymoon phase of the relationship tend not to last. Guys have a tendency to get comfortable in their ways and if those things are important for you, it's something you need to talk to him about. Some guys can definitely do more things to show affection for their significant others some of the time, but I think you really need to temper your expectations some when it comes to long term relationships too because if small things like this are bothering you after roughly one year in, it doesn't get easier as year five and ten of a relationship roll along and the "marriage" question comes into play.

Like he said, he's just feeling comfortable. Now with 'love' you've got to understand there are two stages. the intense puppy dog love that starts everything out, and the more permanent longterm love, that unfortunately has fewer fuzzy butterflies. Now I think you should talk to him, about it, and ask him things you want(Communication is key.) But him not messaging you on the hour, isn't really a him problem unless he's truly ignoring you, he could easily be busy afterall. You even said, his valentine's gift was handmade, that's more than many would do. Clinginess often comes from insecurity, which if he's feeling comfortable with you, he obviously won't show. Which you can determine whether it's good or bad. You may just want more attention than he's willingly to give on a regular basis. It's best to have meaningful attention, then just him doing things without the meaning behind them in my opinion after all. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you, He just may not be super romantic.

Sounds to me like the honey moon phase is coming to a close. Its not the sign of a relationship dying unless you guys acknowledge it together and move past it. There are very very few true relationships out there where the couple stay in that kind of stage. You guys will probably need to get comfortable with the complacency.

Well I mean, you're already aware of the issue yourself: "What I'm seeking and his nature aren't compatible" But the main question is are you willing to meet him halfway here? From what you explained things don't seem to be going that bad between you two at all. Your expectations in a certain department were just let down, I personally wouldn't give up on the relationship just because of that. Especially if you consider this the nicest relationship you've been in, if you give him up there's no promise your next relationship would be as nice or stable. I'd stick around and try to work things out with him, if you're truly unhappy with how things turn out then just do what you gotta do. Though honestly some guys just aren't super romantic types or very clingy when it comes down to things.

What you are going through is pretty much what every couple goes through at one point of time, the flirting, going out of way, and impressing actions only last in the initial days of dating.. after the initial days you both basically get comfortable with each other and are more like pretty much what you and he are now. If you are with someone just coz he impresses you then that is not a healthy relationship(no offense), i mean that works in the beginning but u cant expect him to go out of way all the time coz that is too much work from his side, he probably wants to be comfortable and relaxed with you (i am not supporting him but trying to explain his side), Long term relationship actually requires a factor called "understanding" and that requires you both to talk things out whole heartedly. Since you are feeling that things are not very romantic now, i suggest that you both go out for dates, have long walks to talk for plenty hours.. do video chatting with sexual games, or maybe add spices in your sex life itself... but most of all TALK ALL THESE THINGS OUT WITH HIM INSTEAD OF EXPECTING HIM TO CHANGE. TRUST ME.. talk it out with him, it will help you out a lot.. if it still doesn't help out then comes the difficult part, but whatever happens don't decide to breakup by yourself.. you both have a good bond now, so if breakup ever comes to mind then try that you guys discuss about it and that it is mutual.. breakup from one side just makes things worse for both parties. And yes no human can really understand another person's feelings unless you say it to them, and since you like all the cheesy and flirty stuffs i suggest you say it to him in a nice way, anyways...

I did mention I have spoken with him and he did promise to show his affection more. Should have been more clear.

yeah i read that, but in that you guys almost came to break up.. dont be like that, you guys probably had a fight too when u talked about these stuffs to him.. that wont work, talk in a way that makes him feel like doing it instead of forcing him to do it... i know its difficult but that is how its supposed to be, u cant really force him to show more affection, he should himself feel that. like maybe try making a romantic environment before doing the talks or seduce him and make him realize that you are very important to him.

and its a very common part in every realtionship, if you plan to change the relationship.. then with the next guy also after 1 year this will happen.