Help! My surface laptop isnt working!

I bought a Dell Inspiron 15 7000 Gaming Laptop from my local re-sale shop. The seller said it doubled as a surface laptop, so my face instantly lit up as I noticed I can play my videogames and draw on it. I instantly got home and plugged that bad boy into my almost full power strip, as the rest of the outlets on being used for my other 6 power strips. The keyboard was set a-blaze with light as the screen filled my eyes. After downloading steam(I fucking love videogames btw =^3^=), i loaded up the windows 10 version of paint to get drawing on my new OC! Grabbing the top of the screen, and handling the base, i snapped that thing in two like the bully that broke my arm in 7th grade. In a panic, i whipped that shit into one of my bit coin mining PC's. The strike from it disconnected the mustard gas outflow tube normally flowing safely into a oil drum in my back that is slowly killing m-

hell yea. i just busted a cum bullet through one of my bit coin mining PC's, so now I only have 7. Please send help. Btw i fucking love video games =(^3^)=