Song Lyrics

You grew on me like a tumour And you spread through me like malignant melanoma And now you're in my heart I should've cut you out back at the start Now I'm afraid there's no cure for me No dose of emotional chemotherapy Can halt my pathetic decline I should've had you removed back when you were benign I picked you up like a virus Like meningococcal meningitis Now I can't feel my legs When you're around I can't get out of bed I've left it too late to risk an operation I know there's no hope of a clean amputation The successful removal of you Would probably kill me, too You grew on me like carcinoma Crept up on me like untreated glaucoma Now I find it hard to see This untreated dose of you has blinded me I should've consulted my local physician I'm stuck now forever with this tunnel vision My periphery is screwed Wherever I look now, all I see is you When we first met you seemed fickle and shallow But my armour was no match for your poison arrow You are wedged inside my chest If I tried to take you out now I might bleed to death I'm feeling short of breath You grew on me like a tumour And you spread through me like malignant melanoma I guess I never knew How fast a little mole can grow... on... you

I tear my heart open I sew myself shut My weakness is That I care too much My scars remind us That the past is real I tear my heart open Just to feel Drunk and I'm feeling down And I just want to be alone I'm pissed cause you came around Why don't you just go home 'Cause you channel all your pain And I can't help you go fix yourself Your making me insane All I can say is I tear my heart open I sew myself shut My weakness is That I care too much Our scars remind us That the past is real I tear my heart Open just to feel I tried to help you once Against my own advice I saw you going down But you never realized That your drowning in the water So I offered you my hand Compassion's in my nature Tonight is our last stand I tear my heart open I sew myself shut My weakness is That I care too much Our scars remind us That the past is real I tear my heart Open just to feel I'm drunk and I'm feeling down And I just want to be alone You shouldn't ever came around Why don't you just go home? 'Cause your drowning in the water And I tried to grab your hand And I left my heart open But you didn't understand But you didn't understand You fix yourself I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life I can't help you fix yourself But at least I can say I tried I'm sorry but I gotta move on with my own life I tear my heart open I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much Our scars remind us That the past is real I tear my heart Open just to feel I tear my heart open I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much Our scars remind us That the past is real I tear my heart open Just to feel

So you're gonna live in Paradise, With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins. So you're gonna live in Paradise, With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a ride on a UFO, And when the Lord comes down with his shimmering chariot of salvation, You're gonna be the first to know. And so if... God was there from the very beginning He invented men and women, Then He also invented wanking, Then He said wanking was sinning. So if I'm feeling randy I'm not allowed to hand-shandy, But having sex with my family, That is just fucking great. It's all there in Ezekial 8, Just before He opens up His big pearly gate, And says that it's a sin To take it up the date, Even if it's great, Even with your cowboy mate. So you're gonna live in Paradise, With a ten-foot cock and few hundred virgins, So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at the greener grass, And when the Lord comes down With his shining rod of judgement, He's gonna kick my heathen arse. So if you... Cover the bodies of your women Everybody is grinning, Because black is so slimming, Though it's not great for swimming. But it gives you an erection, With the increased sexual tension, What with the U.V. protection That is second to none. You'll find it all in the Quran Just next to the bit that justifies guns, And says that it's a sin To take it up the bum, Even if it's fun, Even with permission from your mum. So you're gonna live in Paradise With a ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a shot at eternity, And when the Lord comes down And I haven't done my penance, He's gonna disembowel me. You say that... If I... Stumbled on a watch I'd assume it had a watchmaker, That a muffin presupposes a baker, So you must agree sooner or later, That this proves that there's a creator. So if I put my foot in a stinker, You'd assume the existence of a sphincter, Thus you don't need to be a great thinker To coclude that God's a bum, Which negates the words of Genesis 1 Which made Him out to be so much fun, Until Adam succumbed To temptation, And then His only son Got nailed to a gum, Or the Middle-Eastern equivalent, Which suggests that God's omniscience Is nullified by His ambivilance, Unless it turns out that He's impotent, And if God can't get a boner, I guess that explains the plethora Of huge erections in His honour - Because we all know a steeple's just a subconscious compensatory manifestation of a huge stiff penis - Still He tells us that it's heinous To stick a penis up your anus, Even if you're famous, Even if you're good at tennis. So you're gonna live in Paradise Witha ten-foot cock and a few hundred virgins, So you're gonna sacrifice your life For a ride on a UFO, And when the Lord comes down with his big stiff slippery, rod of judgement, I'm gonna be the first to go, He's gonna send me down below, He's gonna whip me like his hoe, You really think so, I'm gonna be the first to go.

Just stop enough of the venomous critical comments on my life Just stop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life Sit back a moment, and look at the miracle starting in the light Don't stop a moment, and let the incredible happen knowing that All that you want is to criticize Something for nothing And all that I want is forgiveness one more time To be the best in the world Just stop with all of your little deliberate problems with my life Enough of all the crippling, terrible pain we feel inside Step back a moment, remember how the miracle started in the light Take back the torment; I'll only enjoy this moment knowing that All that you want is to criticize Something for nothing And all that I want is forgiveness one more time I know that All that we want is to feel inside Some kind of comfort With all that we've done We can hide We'll be the best in the world All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion From the moment that we found ourselves drowning All I ever wanted was to be a real source of compassion From the moment that we found ourselves drowning All that you want is to criticize Something for nothing And all that I want is forgiveness one more time I know that All that we want is to feel inside Some kind of comfort With all that we've done We can hide We'll be the best in the world We'll be the best in the world Just stop enough of the venomous critical comments on my life Just stop the judgment and all of your pseudo-involvement in my life

Spring is here, spring is here Life is skittles and life is beer I think the loveliest time of the year Is the spring, I do, don't you? Course you do But there's one thing that makes spring complete for me And makes every Sunday a treat for me All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon When we're poisoning pigeons in the park Every Sunday you'll see my sweetheart and me As we poison the pigeons in the park When they see us coming The birdies all try and hide But they still go for peanuts When coated with cyanide The sun's shining bright Everything seems all right When we're poisoning pigeons in the park We've gained notoriety And caused much anxiety In the Audobon Society With our games They call it impiety And lack of propriety And quite a variety of unpleasant names But it's not against any religion To want to dispose of a pigeon So if Sunday you're free Why don't you come with me And we'll poison the pigeons in the park And maybe we'll do in a squirrel or two While we're poisoning pigeons in the park We'll murder them amid laughter and merriment Except for the few we take home to experiment My pulse will be quickenin' With each drop of strychnine We feed to a pigeon It just takes a smidgin To poison a pigeon in the park

If you really loved me the way you say you do If you love me half as much as I love you You would pluck a planet from the sky You would use a falling star to dot the "i" In "I love you", that is what you'd do You'd take a dreary day and you would paint it blue If you loved me unconditionally These are the things that you would do for me Because I need you like a fish needs the sea Like a fire needs oxygen, like a flower needs a bee And if you really cared for me You'd let me video you while you wee Standing up in the bath, I shouldn't even have to ask Perhaps you'd even store a little more in a flask These are just the things that people do When their love for one another is true Ba doo doo We go together like toast and pate Like racism and ignorance, like Jews and Hogmanay But if you really want to show you care You'd let me wear your underwear When we visit your mom; it's a bit of harmless fun I just like talking about your childhood with lace between my buns There's no reason for a big to-do If your love for one another is true Ba doo doo

Sit on my face and tell me that you love me I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too I love to hear you o-ra-lize When I'm between your thighs You blow me away Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you I'll sit on your face and then I'll love you truly Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine If we sit on our faces In all sorts of places And play 'till we're blown away.