The Novelization of my mange, chapter 1-5

Please give both positive and negative feed back. Excuse the bad grammar, I'll edit it later Chapter 1: The Secret of the forest Long ago, when the country of Shin was fairly new and was in a period of wars. There were three men that were know as the demon trio. They were very fierce in battle, showing no mercy to the enemy. Many people thought they were a legend, but the only proof of their existence is a mural of the three. The war they were apart of was know as the Changing of Shin war. The King of Shin wanted to catch up with its neighboring countries in industrialization. Many citizen of Shin did not like the new change and rebel against it. Many battles were fought and many men had died. In the end of the war, no one spoke of it anymore and soon was a legend. Over 50,000 years has passed since than. Our city, Ai no Sakura, is a historical city. The only surviving relic of the war. Every year we celebrate the festival of Sakura to honor to those who had died in the war and wars before and after. "And that is why class we celebrate the Sakura festival. Any questions?" An old lady asked in front of a couple of students. A young girl raises her hand. "Yes Hikari?" The old lady asked. "Will we be learning this in High School?" The young girl know as Hikari asked. "Why yes, but not much. It is know as the forgotten as we do not know much about it," The old lady said as one of the male students laughed. The old lady frowns and asks, "What is so funny Takeshi?" The now known Takeshi stops laughing. "What is the point of learning a war that was considered to be forgotten? Seem pretty much useless," Takeshi said as the old lady frowned. "It's been the city tradition since the rise of the emperor," She said as Takeshi shrugs and said "Still pretty useless." A blonde girl who was sitting next to Takeshi slaps him behind his head. "Coming from someone who could barely count!" She said, making Takeshi glare at her. "Wanna rumble Blondie!?" Takeshi shouted at her as the two just glare at each other. The old lady sighs, but smiles when the bell rings. "Welp, it seems class is over. Have a great summer, stay safe, and see you all next school year at Sakura High," The old lady said as she waved everyone off, but notice that Hikari hasn't left yet. "Hikari, why haven't you left with your classmates?" The old lady said as Hikari smiles. "I want to spend time with you grandmother!" Hikari said cheerfully as the old lady smiles. "Than let's go home child," She said as Hikari packed up her stuff and left with her grandmother. The two were now at their home, talking to each other. "So are you ready for High School?" The old lady asked as Hikari nodded. "Yes! I can't wait to learn more new things!" Hikari said as the old lady smiled. "Well it will be tough, but you are very smart. I believe you will do fine," the old lady said as Hikari grinned. "Well, I am going out for a walk. I'll be back k!" Hikari said as she left her grandmother. "Such an a peculiar child," she said as she grabs her cup tea. She was about to sip it until it slip out of her hands and into the floor. "That is not a good sign," She thought before picking up the cup. Hikari was walking near a entrance of a forest. She could hear other people saying things about the forest. "It's a shame that poor boy enter the forest. He well never come back," One bystander said. "The Sakura Forest, other known as the forest of no return," another said. Hikari has heard about this forest, and it's magic. Once someone enters, they will never come back out, never to be seen again. "SOMEONE HELP ME!!" Everyone heard a shout in the forest. It sounded like a little boy. "HELP ME!!! PLEASE!!!" No one did anything. No matter how close the exit is, you never will come out. Hikari always have a kind nature. So she ran into the the forest, ignoring the shouts of others. Though her father told "never enter Sakura forest", he always "help those in need". Hikari kept running, but the boy shouting was getting farther and father away. She realize that she is now last trap in the forest magic. She panic. She runs the opposite direction and hoped she is able to get out. She soon exited the forest, but not in Ai no Sakura. She ended up in area were trees seems to be cut down and skeletons were on the ground or leaning against a fallen tree. Hikari screamed, not knowing what to do, she ran more. Very soon, she ended up in an Area were a bunch of trees were cut down, but something is different. Hikari sees a statue. Out of curiosity, she walks towards the statue. "Why is there a statue here?" She asked herself. She sees no plaque or anything. She than touches the statue, but she did not expected a bright to shine in front of her. She fell back as the light spread. Hikari has her eyes close for a second before opening them. Her eyes widened when the statue was turned to a human being. A human being that is a guy about her age that looks like he just got out of a war zone. "Who are you?!" She asked as the guy glares at her. "TOSHIRO!!!" He charges after her, raising his sword to slice Hikari.

It's a pretty good start to a novel, need to work on the grammar and sentence structure a bit but all in all it a pretty straight forward read. I enjoyed it and would love to know more ^.^

Well it's not originally suppose to be a novel. It's the manga I am creating, but I am doing a novel version of this to get feed back on the story. I want to show you guys a quick sketch of this chapter, but I am still working on it. Chapter two will be release today when my brother doesn't yell at me to go to sleep.

Chapter 2: Yuki Time slow down for Hikari. The unknown guy with the sword almost brought down his sword on Hikari. "I guess this is it. I never achieve my dream, I never got my first kiss, I never had kids," Hikari kept thinking many things she hasn't done yet. Soon the man stopped his sword and stares at Hikari. "You are not Toshiro...in fact, who are you?" The man ask as Hikari shook in fear. "H-Hikari Miyamoto," She said as the man stares. He soon clutched his head and looks at Hikari, but instead saw a young girl with silver hair. The man look up and saw silhouette of a man. That silhouette left as the man screamed. "TOSHIRO!" He ran after the direction of the silhouette, not knowing it was a silhouette. Hikari snaps out of her scared state and notice the man is running away. "HEY!" Hikari yelled after him. She chase after him. The more she runs after him, the more he keeps getting farther. "He's quick," Hikari said. Soon the man exit the forest and was in the area were Hikari was before she enter the forest. Everyone was surprise to see someone come out of the forest, but were surprise to see him bleeding and with cuts around his body. The man was confused. The area doesn't seem familiar to him. "What is going on? Where am I?" He thought. Soon Hikari came out as well, and was surprise she was back at Ai no Sakura. The people around her whispers to each other, saying that's the girl from earlier. The man hears the whisper, but ignores them and kept running. But that was a mistake, because he ran into the street and a truck crash into him, forcing him back and knocking him out. Everyone was shock what they saw. "Someone call the paramedics!" A bystander shouted. Hikari notice the man lying on the street. She thought he was dead, but notice he was still breathing. "Just who is he?" She asked herself and heard the paramedics sirens. "Yuki..." The man was floating in a dark abyss. He opens his eyes slowly and sees a woman with silver hair, smiling at him. "Yuki..." She whispers as his eyes widened. His eyes snaps as he sat up. He was in a hospital bed, and his wounds were treated. "Oh! You're awake so soon," The man turn his head to the right and saw Hikari smiling at him. "You gave us quite a scare. We all thought you died, luckily you survive," She said as the man looks at her with a confused look. "Where...am I?" He asked. Hikari smiles at him. "You're at Miyamoto hospital! Were we could treat your wounds!" Hikari exclaimed. Hikari grandmother soon enter the room. "Hikari. You aren't bothering the young lad aren't you?" She asked as Hikari shook her head no. "Good, will you do your grandmother a favor and fetch me a bottle of water?" Hikari grandmother asked as Hikari nodded happily and left. The two were alone, as they were in private hospital room. The man watches Hikari's grandmother sat in a chair and frowns at him. "So you finally return. Yuki Shimizu," Hikari grandmother said, making the man eyes widened. "How did you know my name?" The now known Yuki asked. Hikari's grandmother laughed. "Well, I did heal many of your wounds during the war. And I was very good friends with your mother," Hikari grandmother said making Yuki realize who she was. "Is it you? Hitomi?" Yuki asked as Hitomi nodded. "Yes it is. We got so much to talk about. But first thing first. You are not in your timeline anymore. You are in the future. This is Ai no Sakura city, not Ai no Sakura the village. To be precise, your were frozen in time for 50,000 years." Hikari grandmother said as Yuki eyes widened. "I was frozen?" Yuki said as he clutched his head and remembers the last thing he saw before he was frozen. "Through we maybe child hood friends, comrades arms, and brothers all but blood. I will never forgive you. My plan for peace will be achieved. Even if it means death of a millions. I am sorry...old friend," Yuki saw a guy looking at him, before blacking at. "Toshiro..." Yuki whispers, but Hitomi heard it. "Toshiro has been dead long time ago. I found his corpse near your frozen state," Hitomi said as Yuki shook his head no. "No. You must have found a fake corpse. Toshiro cannot die. After will killed the general of Shin army, Toshiro and I fought. I cut him many times and stabbed his vital spots many times, but he has not died," Yuki said making Hitomi curious. "Well you can elaborate later. Right now, you must rest. Your wounds has not heal yet," Hitomi said as Yuki sighed. He was about to object, until Hitomi punched his face and knocked him out. "I do not want to hear your protest," Hitomi said as Hikari came in. "I'm back! Oh! He fell asleep?" She asked as Hitomi nodded. "Yes, now let's go home child and let him have some rest," Hitomi said as she stood up and lead Hikari outside the room, leaving the knocked Yuki to sleep.