Confessions

I have a host of things stemming from immune system issues. Nothing on your level physically I imagine. I tend to be very sickly and already have breathing problems and known cardiovascular issues. There is a chance that I could fight off this virus like most people do, but given my history and previous diagnoses, there is a fair chance I couldn't. So I am actually scared of it. On the mental end of things I have fairly severe OCD with one of my biggest triggers being my fear of harming those around me through my actions. While this normally leads me to checking ovens and doors, over cooking food, those kinds of things, during this whole pandemic it has completely set me off. I was sick for the better part of the last month and have been in a constant state of pure anxiety believing I had infected everyone around me with the virus. I haven't been sleeping or eating and the only thing I can do is wait until either this passes or one of them gets it so I can blame myself. None of that is as bad as worrying about needing surgery though. I've had it twice, once for my gallbladder to check polyps that appeared to be tumors and once to rebuild my throat and sinuses to help me breath better. I can't imagine needing to recover from those again with the world like this. Much less getting prepared for it only to have them pushed back because they don't want to handle anything. I know you can't get disability from the appendicitis lol, I thought it was crazy that she would even mention such a thing. I do the same thing you do, write something 50 times, check it over and over and over, finally when finished, delete it because it isn't worth my time and just writing it out over and over eventually let off all the steam. I've been there so many times lol. Though, if you DO crush her, I want to see the post that does it. I can't imagine you spitting fire that hot :P. Florida is going to be a bloodbath. People are still acting like nothing is wrong. I have a friend that goes and gets groceries for me right now, so I am lucky. It is surreal, people just refuse to acknowledge that this is a serious thing that can cause permanent damage and death. Both states have failed miserably handling the situation and it is going to show in the death counts. Stay safe hun and I hope you can get the surgeries you need asap.

I am doing my best! I haven't been around people for about 3 weeks, aside from my grocery intake, so I am taking solace in that as much as I can. Even if I am logically safe, OCD isn't logical by any means, but I am trying my hardest. Also, I get the half redhead thing. The hot temper and questionable constitution always comes in at the fun moments right? My hair is brown and my beard is red, so I have the half and half thing rocking myself. Yeah, I hope you don't find out how at risk you are :(. I hope I don't either really. Just by considering her mental state before replying you are living up to your promise, I hope you know that.

>or so I thot Hahahahaha classic.

Hmm. Did thot come to being from the fake gamer girl tiktocs or was it just a coincidence in time? https://youtu.be/K4cmlhpupn0